Pick of the day is Einstein's Relativity : the Special and General Theory

Pick of yesterday was H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds

Do you know what? This is taking far too long with Blogger's software. I think I need to get a Flickr account....

Well I have finally arrived back in North-East Scotland after a full night of travel back up from london on the the National Express... It was gutting to be on a bus rather than a plane but once I got over my stupid middle-class tendencies and forgot about airplanes, it wasn't that bad! There were certainly good parts like getting the whole back row to myself at points so i could stretch out and go to sleep.... Also the Funfares are well worth checking out. If you're ever in a tight spot and need s cheap ride, this is the way to go!

Today was a rather large day. Not only did I have my first exam of my last semseter at university - the beginning of the end so to speak - but tickets for Live 8 Live went on sale today by text or post.

This is officially the end of a long day of study. It's been a good one but one of those ones where you set targets and don't halfway achieve them... All the same, it's been a good day, and officially day TWO(!!!) of MY spring - I have no idea when the real one starts/started but these last two days have been sweet with the promise of summer sun and all that comes with that (e.g. and end to the seemingly endless work)!

Yeah baby. Check out Liam's Photo Blog - he's becoming quite the ameteur photgrapher... blessings readers

reader ;-)

I'm just about to run out to a class but just so you all know - the weekend was good. Included a lot of coursework, strabucking, and trips to spooky old houses....

Looks like something from the Adams family.

Check out my new ride on the left.... Mmmm hmmm i know what you're thinking.... Sweet as you like, I'm now big pimpin' it up in the Benzo. beamer. Whatever! Yeah like the title says i'm allowed to dream. But this was a good dream... BMX M3 CSL. Yes yes, ladies and gents, this is probably $100,000 dollars or more worth of overpriced but oh so awesome German engineering genius. Check my bad self looking so hard core there in the backstreets. Back in Compton. Bling.

This past weekend the Jutester and I trekked 550 miles north to hang out with my good friend Liam Byrnes in Aberdeen, Scotland. What a drive, what a weekend. It was a time of intense fun, blessing, side-splitting laughter, and good coffee. It was sweet to see Liam being established as the man of God he is in that town, and seeing the ways which God is challenging him and causing him to grow. Spent time with awesome people up there (you can check out Graham, Jane, Fraser, the Jutester, Liam, and me in the photo), and heard a lot about what is on God's heart for me. I think it's time I got down and did some serious business with God regarding next year and the next step - wherever and whatever that means.... All of the sudden there are many options, some of which I'm really excited about.

This won't be my longest post.... I'm pretty wasted after the weekend and the past few days - It's been great but right now I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep! Were I to post today though, I'd post on some of this stuff (and you can watch this space because I might try to catch up later this week...)

1) Altar calls and prophecy - the ministry of Todd Bentley as I saw it this past week in my church here at uni. Really cool and made me love Jesus more - so that means to me that it was good, but I have thoughts and questions.... hmmmm.

2) Squash. Hitting black balls at walls in a small room. Great fun.

3) Going to Aberdeen next week baby! Hopefully anyway....

4) The wrecked clutch in my car - i need one of those £200 Volvos

5) Wagamama - Good food for the yuppie/coffee shop cultured generation which I experienced for the first time this past week.

6) Going to BAe Systems and having a base commander try and get me to join the Air Force

7) God and his goodness - Toward a Godward life 3 maybe?

8) The visit of my lovely sister Beth and her best friend (and my good friend) Lara Critchley. Beth is now somewhere over North America, Lara's in Manchester and I'm shattered from laughing lots, stayin gup late, and getting up early. Good times though. Catch up later.... For those of you who want something good to read click here...

La and Beth

Man that Liam Byrnes is one thought provoking guy. Stoked, blessed, honored, am I to have him as the great friend he is to me. Awesome awesome.

Just writing out of response to his post 'Its a Small Blog World' with some of my thoughts on Emergent church and blog and stuff.... I was washing dishes just after I read his post on that tonight and got some good time with just me to think about stuff. Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Firstly, I'm stoked to be a part of the emerging church movement. If I can claim that actually. If being part of the Emerging church means that I've got a healthy dissatisfaction with current 'church practice' and 'Christianity' as it is seen in most circles, and I'm seeking the God-centred truth about how we're meant to live as people who walk in relationship with God, then I'm in, I'm part of the movement, I want to be there, I'm there all the way. I'm at the same time though, a little wary of totally jsut going oh yeah, "I'm emerging everyone!". Here are my reasons. Firstly, I'm still a little wary of that youthful rebellion which can so often rise in my youthful spirit and the spirits of other youthful people around me, and I want to be sure of where my heart is - that it's not just out of rebellion that i'm asking questions and pulling the thread. That's why I'm so stoked that the emerging church movement is characterized by a move of all ages in the same direction - community, relationship, etc. Very Cool. I dont think that's where my heart is, so i'm stoked. But the second thing is something entirely different. If you see the title 'Emerging' in the sense of 'yes, i've been inside that cucoon, i've been asking things, seeking god's heart about stuff for the past 'x' amount of years, and now I'm 'Emerging' like a butterfly emerges from it's cucoon into the beautiful things that God brought me to a realization of, then I think can't take that title yet. Right now, though these thoughts have started to bounce aroudn in my head for the last couple of years or so, I feel more like a caterpillar just creating my chrysalis to go and hide. I'll do plenty of emerging, but the process is only jsut beginning. I remember reading something on Andrew Jones' Blog a while ago about upstarts being all "I'm post-emergent". Whatever. I've got a long way to go and I'm a VERY unfinished Christian. So, while I'm stoked to be being led by God down this path, I'm just seeing how far i ahve to go, and I dont want to be too pretentious. But then, the whole thing about 'Emerging' is that it suggests an ongoing process. Maybe I can claim that name after all....

Other thoughts are - yes I am so stoked that blogs are taking over the net right now, and it seems a timely time for them to become popularized, especially seeing how they can, as Liam's already talking about (so I won't go into it) facilitate and encourage discussion and the sharing of ideas, inspiration, and revelation. If there was ever a time when we needed this it was now hey. So I'm stoked. It also helps people like me down here in the South-East of England, where emergin kind of thought seems definately thin on the ground, to know that I'm not alone in it and to be able to bounce stuff off people and read what others are feeling all around the world. Stoked. It is sometimes gutting that there doesn't seem to be many people asking the kind of things that my heart is asking down here, but I know that God's working in my heart, and so it's encouraging to see how he's working in the same ways in others, and has been for years already!

Sorry about the typos. Love to hear what you guys are thinking about my stuff - also if there are any of you fellow emerging hearts out there in the south-east let me know hey. Blessings. Check out Liam preaching in my student kitchen.... Liam you're a legend in your own time.... As is that hair - now gone forever??? ;)

Byrnesy Blabbering...

Listening to Bethany Dillon right now. My brother's been going on about her for an age and I never really gave her music a chance but check some of it out. Really loving some of the stuff though now that I'm sitting down to it. She's totally the child prodigy it seems, though i don't know how much of her stuff she writes or what. It's not overly deep - jsut generally nice and some real good stuff in there too if you go digging. I suggest you check it out - if you don't want to buy the album then pick up some of the tracks on iTunes USA or from the "Beautiful Sessions" EP on iTunes UK. Ummm I'm digging 'A Voice Calling Out', and 'Exodus'.

Lex Brodie, who led worship a lot at the Soul Survivor events and SoulintheCity last summer has just released a sweet song on Passionforyourname.com called 'Heaven Rejoices'. It's got a good sound and speaks to my heart. Right click the link and click 'Save Target As'. Cheers to Soul Survivor/Passionforyourname.com/survivor records... i hope that covers all possible bases!

Today was one of those days where you don't have to get up early and you make a concious decision to ignore your alarm going off. It was sweet - I also had one of those dreams where you can kindof control it and keep it going - though you know you're dreaming you know? I think it's called a lucid dream. Anyway. It was cool. Then i got up and couldn't stand up straight for about 5 minutes which was pretty funny - I was walking around the house leaning on the walls! So anyway I've had a nice chilled out morning with Jesus and a big mug of the old coffee beans...

My Dad just got back from spending a few days in Arkansas with his parents (my grandpaarents) for Grandpa's 82nd birthday. These are his thoughts which he emailed to the rest of the family. There's nothing else I can say.

Dear Family (Nan and Nell,please pass this on to your children),Today is January 31, 2005. Last night I spent my last night in what I might term my "parent's house"). As you all know, they are packing up to move out of their own home and up to Kansas City, where they can be better cared for by their daughters. Today my heart is full, and thoughts occupy my mind as I consider their lives, their values, their legacy. I do not want what they have lived for to ever be forgotten, or to cease to speak to the generations that follow them.

From them we must all learn some things about true family life.

Building a strong family does not come about by accident. 62 years ago, John and Marty took vows on November 6,1943. They meant and kept those vows. No sooner had they become husband and wife than John left for the European War, and Marty moved from the leafy ease of Scarsdale NY to the comparative poverty and challenges of south Arkansas. She moved in with her husband's family, in order to make his people her people. South Arkansas in 1943 was a universe away from New York City! What a brave and devoted lady she was and always has been.

John survived the war and set out to be a faithful husband. Many times he has said to me "Marty's dad entrusted his precious daughter to me, and I have made it my aim always to honour him by truly caring for her." What a picture of faithfulness that man has been in my life, and in the lives of all he touched, both in family and in business!. They were dirt poor when they started out in married life. They lived for two years in a tiny trailer at the University of Missouri. Yet they began to lay foundations of faithfulness which stand strong till this very day. What a devoted husband John has been. What a devoted wife Marty has been. To see them now, well into their eighties, so in love, so committed to each other, makes me take stock of my life: What else counts but faithfulness and devotion? What fruit true faithfulness bears.

Consider with me that during our upbringing, neither Nell, Nancie, nor myself, ever once had cause to question our parents' love either to each other, or to us as their children. I think of all the thousands of miles John travelled, the hundreds of nights in hotel rooms. I think of how strikingly beautiful Marty was (is!) and of times when unscrupulous men looked her way. But never did these two compromise their vows. Not once did they put their home in jeopardy. Never once was their children's security threatened.

I think of their unmatched generosity. How many lives have been touched by their willing ness to give and reach out to help. I think of the enthusiastic, selfless hours which Dad has put into each of us, at various times, helping us complete some project, find some product, develop some scheme. What an enthusiastic love of others he always had! His generosity was only matched by that of his dear wife's, who never failed to love and give extravagantly. I can remember her waiting up all night during a heavy snow for me to return from work, meeting me at the door with tears and a smile. They taught their children to go beyond what is expected, and strive to be exceptional givers. I doubt that we will ever match or eclipse their giving spirit.

They could be tough! I can well remember the board of education meeting the seat of knowledge in their home! I remember like yesterday when I, a cocky 17yr. old, met the deserved fury of my 51 yr old dad. George Foreman would have been proud of him! But I learned my much needed lesson, and never doubted his unending love for me. In fact, I cannot recall a day going by when I was not told that I was loved and valued by my parents. Every day my mother would wake me for school by drawing back my curtains and greeting me with a warm "good morning ,son, I sure do love you!" John and Marty were more strict that any parents I knew. For us children, it was "yes sir", and "no ma'am". But, funny, "peer pressure" was somehow no match for their consistency, values, and love. It was just plain nicer to be home with them than out carousing with the gang. John and Marty, with their love, standards, and grace, made it easy for their children to believe in the Living God.

I see them now, sitting together in their chairs, able to look back on a live well lived, with little or nothing to regret. Younger ones, do we realize the immeasurable value of reaching the end of our days without regret.? How many will regret the rash decisions made in youth, the turns in life governed by selfish interests rather than by principle. Watching John and Marty reminds me that integrity and faithfulness is worth everything. Would we arrive at our old age regret free? As I see them sitting together, loving each other, praying together and still caring for others, I realize that I still need them: Their example encourages me still to live better.

Let us learn from these two the importance of the decisions we are making now. May we be guided not merely by personal interests, but by timeless principles of right and wrong. This is not optional! The stakes are too high to be haphazard. Furture generations will be made or ruined by the values we hold today and the decisions which flow from them. John and Marty have done their job well; we now have no excuse as we aim for the future.

Last Saturday night, the five of us, Mom, Dad, Nell, Nan, and myself sat together, probably for the last time in our parents' home, and soaked up the good feeling of just being together. We were able to value one another and the fantastic, grace-filled experience we had shared as family over 62 years. The next morning we went to church and worshipped the Lord Jesus together, sharing communion with eachother. What an unspeakable joy it was to stand together, the five of us, and sing "I stand in awe of You." God met with us as a family, and we were able to marvel together at a lifetime of experiencing His grace and goodness.

Now, in a very real sense, the torch has passsed from John and Marty Sr.to Tessa and myself. It is now our home that will bear the torch for this branch of the Gillespie family. With joy and earnestness we accept the noble call to carry on their legacy and values. But the flame is also passed to on to the families of the Riechers and Dischingers. I think too of the wonderful legacy of Joe and Estelle Gillespie, and the values that have flowed from them to their loved ones' homes. Young people: That generation has run well! We must continue the race. There is nothing more important for us to put our lives to.

As John and Marty move to their apartment Kansas City, I ,along with you, pray that God will grant them a rich and precious season there together. It is truly time for them to rest. It is time for us to run well the race set before us.

I ask you to join with me in saluting John and Marty Gillespie. The only fitting "thank you" that we can bring them is to carry their faith and values on in our families, with deliberate attention and joyful determination, that their legacy may live on for generations to come.

Love to you all,John D. Gillespie, Jr. (& Tessa)

Well I've been sitting here for most of the night ignoring the fact that a) there's stuff brewing in my heart and b) that I should post about it. At this point though it's still somewhat a mystery what God would have me say in this post, but I figured since I feel him tugging on my spirit then I'd better just sit down for 15 and bash something out.

It's been a good couple of days - classes started up again. Not only is that a shock to the system because i haven't had any classes for three weeks (well actually since before christmas), but I've started analytical subjects again after a whoel semester of management subjects. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing though, cuase analytical ones are tough as you like, but then you know if you work hard at them, you get the grades.... We'll see. The rest of the week so far has been about Starbuck and not a lot else - which is why I'm blogging and then I'm going to hopefully read for a bit before bed. It's been a fairly unproductive weekend, though good fun and I've done a lot.

And still my heart is crying out...

Check out the beautiful photo of a tree I took a few weeks ago.... Hopefully if you click on the bigger image you'll see that the foreground is in focus and the far branches are out of focus. Hmm. That's a bit what i feel like life is like right now maybe - a bit out of focus once you look out fast what's in front of your face - and it's not because i need glasses. The Divine Thwarter is doing what he does very well at directing me down the paths he'd have me go. Cause probably if I could see clearly what was in the distance, I'd either run from it or strive to attain it, and both would have me ending up in trouble. Better to rest in what's here now I guess, knowing that God knows what those out of focus bits look like. Comforting that the picture's looking up into the sky though hey - especially seeing as i LOVE to fly. It's out of focus only up there where i know i love to be.

The last week has abeena week of intense challenge, with God challenging my heart, and exposing things in me which i liked to either not see, or which i didn't want others to see. Ouch. But I've discovered terrific freedom as a result of his hand pulling back the curtains over my heart. Nice. I'm now left, as a result of that revelation, feeling very spiriturally naked before God, in a place of entire vulnerability, weakness, and trust. Again though, i know it's been a massive step toward freedom, and life in Christ - a life to the full. I know as he leads me on in this walk, He'll continue to pull back the drapes, exposing those dusty areas of my heart, but bringing life and light to that part of the room. Work it in me God....

The Godward life is intensely challenging right now. But it's really good. And I'm loving living it! This has been extremely introspective - a porthole into the edge of my thoughts. Sorry it wasn't more enlightening! Hopefully tomorrow I'll blog and some stuff for all the kids - that'll make them start sharing candy and stuff. Or maybe not. Hmmm....

So what do you all think? Do they suit? I'm not sure but hey - this was the other night when we said bye to Rich before he went away to Young Women After Men.

It's been a good day. I'm tired and I have to work early tomorrow. 6am. ouch.

Need I say more? Going to bed. Night awesome people.

Yeah according to Jesse Foot it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day.... I dont exactly know what that means but he sent me the "I have a Dream" speech and it blew me away. If you're looking for a martyr to justice - here's one. Download the file and see what you think. (Right click on the link 'Save Target As...')

It just goes to show how delayed my blogging is that often when i go to blog about stuff, i see that everyone else has already blogged about it! Heavy. Like the new iPod Shuffle, which i'm deeply tempted to get - as it's the affordable alternative to an iPod (read Liam's blog on this subject here). Or the weather, which is really really windy up in Scotland and the rest of the UK - but here's we're seemingly blessed to have almost total calmness.... i'm not so sure about blessedness in that respect though cuase i love the wind (with all due respect to those whose lives have been seriously affected upcountry). But check out the calmness here... How boring.

But, as an aside and as something fresh which no-one has yet blogged about, check out this photo of the side of my car - it happened last september, but the insurance is only coming through now. And... wait for it... it looks like they're going to write it off! I could have a new car soon... you never know. Or it could be the same one. Blessings people. I'll leave you with the photo.

Well that's it, the holidays are finally officially and fully over. After flying up from conrwall for just one night here, I dropped Liam byrnes back at Terminal 1 of Heathrow airport to return to Scotland... Very crazy that not much more than three weeks ago i was picking him up with a lot of fun ahead and now it's a little different. Not bad, just different.

Beginning to realize though, that this life we're living, the "road less travelled by", is going to be one of endless goodbye. One of continually seeing off good friends - not just good friends but heart friends, because though paths cross sometimes, God leads us out into different wildernesses, different places where he wants to use us and impact our lives. Makes it tough sometimes - when pieces of your heart are torn away again as the people you love have to leave and you have to leave them.

Liam is one of my heart friends - he understands the things that stir my spirit and the same things stir him. He really is one of those few people who i can call a brother in arms. We share the same foxhole in the battlefield so to speak... I had to say goodbye today. Earlier this week i had to say goodbye to my sister Beth and my good friends Mark and Chrissy, Kate, Lucy, Pete. The week before my dear family - my Dad, Mom, and siblings, the week before that my cousins Andrew Alisha Suze and Darcy. Last month Jeff. Endless goodbyes to the heart friends - the people that matter.

Cheesy cheesy grins all round.... It's american John serving your mocha frappuccino. Just got back from work at Starbucks and today for once it's been a nice calm afternoon, whereas normally it's manic and crazy! It's v. cool God's blessed me with a job that i enjoy where i can go and de-stress, and have fun talking to people, doing something that i enjoy (pulling shots of coffee).

Sometimes you're heart is on fire, and it's all you can do to stop yourself from running down the street screaming to jesus about the wonders you have seen in him. Every mountain becomes a molehill, and faith flows through you like the blood in you arteries. Other times, it's more like he's holding you by the hand as you're starting to flag and stumble and fall, and it feels amost as though he's dragging you, refusing to let you drift off. Lately I'd been feeling that way, not that I didn't want to be close to God, but more that as much as a desired the closeness, i couldn't quite attain it, and because of that i was living my life a little bit listlessly, almost waiting for the next event to happen, to knowck me again in the face. It felt as though my life was running around me, and i wasn't able to quite hold it, as much as i tried to keep it all reined in.

Sometimes you know when God speaks to you, sometimes he speaks clearly, other times in riddles and dreams and visions. Last week God spoke to me clearly. I felt like all the questions i was asking of him, about my life, were'nt getting any answers. I knew he was seeking my heart, seeking time with me, but my days seemed to be an endless list of to-do's with 20 minutes of time for God if he was lucky.

One of my good friends reminded me of the secret place. The secret place is the place where you are reduced to just being you - not the you everyone else knows, not the you that has so much stuff to do, not the you that is always thinking and planning things and the you that everything seems to be on top of. Not the you who is stuck up or proud or resentful. Just the you that lives and breathes and has it's being. And the secret place is the place where God can speak in that still small voice, and oyu'll be able to hear. I'm convined that God speaks often, even all the time, but i'm just so often too busy to hear him, even if i'm trying, because there's always too many other thoughts, things to do, people to see.

So, i was like God, where can i go to reduce me to a place where all i can do is hear from you. He asked me where my heart could breathe. I tried to think, and there didn't seem to be a place around here where my heart felt free... kindof like it does when you step off the top of a big cliff that you've never jumped before. That's heart freedom for me. So i remembered a place about an hour from here where my heart could breathe. It's a huge hill with a monument on the top, and you can see for miles and miles all around. Then i felt god re-assuring me that if i went there, it would be a place where i could meet with him.

So i drove. And I walked. And I talked with him, my Father, my Savior, my Master, the love of my heart. It was fantastic. Now my heart is breathing again, now my feet have a lightness in their step again, my soul sings to him again.

Yes, i know what you're thinking, and i'm thinking it too! Who is that guy who is SO HOT RIGHT NOW? It's Josiah aka BO gillespie, and yes, i know he's fine.

Rumor has it he's started his own blog.... check it out here....

Sorry to all of you who were hoping for a big change in things - i couldn't decide until the last minute but in the end i was found rooting for Bush alongside the rest of my Republican family! It's quite comforting this time that there was no more scandal than a fiercely contested state, and the popular vote was in his favor too... For those of you who have no idea about the US voting system go here and get very confused. For those of you who want to laugh at bush go here and type in 'misearble failure' or 'weapons of mass destruction' and click on the first link....

George Dubya

The man himself, Mike Windsor, has left the building! My good friend and flatmate had to move out this week, leaving me his room and a hefty monthly rent bill. Mike I miss you man.... No, in all seriousness, it feels really wierd to not have mike around, and it still feels like i'm staying in his room, not that i've moved in!

Windsor

That Huge gap in time since the last post can all be explained - really! Pretty much since the last post, i've been out of the country, and then when i got back, for a few days i've been so busy that i didn't have time to post, or when i did, i couldn't be bothered! So, here i am and i want all you my desperate readers to know that i did think of you often while rejecting the online generation in my procrastination!

So, i thought i'd share with you all this photo, which is me and the good man Jutester on the way to Stanstead airport at about 4am last Friday morning. Being the man and a true friend and mate, Jute told me he'd take me to the airport (2 hours away) even thouhg i had to be there at 5:30am, thus the major tired expressions!

On the fountain in Trafalgar Square