On the Road

Almost ready to go

2006-09-15T22:49:00.000+01:00

Well, we've just said goodbye to the last people to leave our house tonight as they came to say goodbye to Beth, Jeff, Elijah, Carter, Kath, and me! Almost all my preparations are done and ready. I'm tired. I've worked hard. I've had more inoculations in the past week or so than I can count on one hand. I've spent more time on the phone than you want to hear about. But... Things are mostly sorted out! Now all that's left to do is pack a few things and catch my flight out! We're travelling to London on Sunday and then I'm flying out to Kansas City on Wednesday the 2oth. After I spend a few days with my grandparents there in Kansas, I'll be flying out to Hawaii on the 28th. If anyone's in London and wants to meet up for coffee on Monday, give me a call on 07880 968822. I'd love to spend some time! I'll update again over the next few days in London. It's sweet to be finally on my way to a part of the world that I've wanted to go to for so long. Check out this photostitch of my room at uni.

Welcome to the DTS update page!

2006-09-10T22:39:00.000+01:00

Well for those of you who used to read this blog regularly, sorry I've been 'off the air' for so long! For those of you visiting for the first time, welcome!

The face of this blog will be changing over the next few months, as I embark on a new adventure with God. The last post has a link to the UofN in Kona, with YWAM, and I'm actually flying out there on the 20th, to start my DTS (Discipleship Training School). I'll be attending the October quarter Compassion DTS, focusing on the AIDS epidemic in Africa.

I'd appreciate your prayers as I embark on this adventure, and I'd love for you to partner with me in this. Please check back often for updates, and email me often. In the meantime, for more info, click here.

Contact me on: johnny.gillespie@gmail.com, Myspace

Welcome to the Summit

2006-04-03T15:00:00.000+01:00

When on a journey and you reach the top of one hill, all you can see is the next horizon. Well, this is my Ben-Scotland summit experience. Over the last few months the big thing in my life, other than living out my calling to this area, has been my application to medical school. Today, I got a letter in the mail declining my application to Kings College, U of London. In truth, I'm gutted, but not that gutted.

It's funny, because of late I've read/been reading two stunning books on the soveriegnty of God in all of life. One is Understanding God's Will by Kyle Lake, and the other is Desiring God by John Piper - two books from very different angles, but with similar stories to tell. They both speak of the unfailing desire of God for our good, and his plans for us as his people. Through reading these books, I've come to a deep and deepening realization of who God actually is in relation to my life and future, my hopes and dreams, the things I long for. What it boils down to (in a far too simple version) goes something like this.

God desires the best for me. If I am willing to let him lead, and follow with my everything, I don't need to worry about where things are going.

So, I trhew myself into the application, and it didn't pan out. I still think that's the way to go, but it looks like I now have another year before thenI could possibly be in med school. Funnily enough (or more likely, through Gods providential interventional input), over the last few weeks I've seen the desire grow in me for some other things for next year, to the point that i was going to try to defer my Uni place if i did get in. So, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised at the results....

Check this out.

Nothing Else Compares

2006-02-08T16:15:00.000Z

Chris Tonlin's anointed songwriting genius. Breathe it in.

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

Incomparable, unchangeable

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same

You are amazing God

Can you believe...

2006-01-26T14:49:00.000Z

...its already halfway through February, and I haven't blogged a single post this year yet! As usual, feeling bad about it - but not bad enough to make me want to post any more than I do! Since the last post I was away for 10 stunning days in the resort of Tignes Val Claret in the French Alps learning to snowboard. All I can say is I'm hooked! It was totally awesome - snowboarding aside, the mountains are simply insane. I've never seen mountains that big before (even though I know the alps aren't so big considering) and there was something awesome and wild about being on top of them in the sunshine, even if I had the luxury of ski lifts and good coffee and nice resaurants. I think it's said of mountains that the higher you go the more you leave behind - and for me that was true! I found that as I spent time up there, above the treeline, breathing thin air, my heart was taking huge fresh gulps of God. I came back from my time there blown away, praising God for his goodness. It felt like a cold drink on a hot, dry day to my heart - totally refreshing! I think there's a certain transcendance in mountains, something mythical and awesome about them, which can cut straight through everything else, and speak straight to your heart. Something about the way their peaks soar straight up into the deep blue sky, something about their complete barren wildness - it strips everything bare and enables your heart to hear clearly - to hear God clearly - to hear itself clearly. In the business and constant drive of western life, that's something which is really ahrd to find - a place where you're stripped bare of distraction and engagement, and left with an engagement with heaven. That aside, the snowboarding was so crazy! I've never picked up a sport so quickly or loved it so much. There's something awesomely freeing about screaming down an icy run on the edge of control, carving round sweeping corners with ice-cold wind in your face and the mountains as a backdrop.... I loved it! Since then I've even dreamt about it I loved it so much! I can feel it now.... I hear the boarding in Scotland can be good but there hasn't been any snow yet - roll on a cold front!

Free online books....

2005-12-30T15:22:00.000Z

Check out this site. Books on which the US copyright has expired.... useful if you're ever bored and in need of a good read. Project Gutenberg

Pick of the day is Einstein's Relativity : the Special and General Theory

Pick of yesterday was H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds

Thoughts of the Day

2005-12-30T14:39:00.000Z

I was reading in Lamentations today just by chance really - it was one of those mornings where you open the Bible and you start reading where it lays... Not the greatest of ways to get into the Word no doubt but it still hit me deep with these words... "25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. 28 Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. 31 For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. " Lam 3:25-31 I've been letting that sink in all day while I'm working. This is speaking about true brokeness before God and before the rest of us. So often I'm up so high on my high horse, to the extent that I feel hurt or let down when I'm corrected or sorted out by someone, or when I hear that somebody's been talking about me behind my back. And in truth, it does hurt, even if you are broken about it. But so often I'm not. So often that initial pang can turn into self-righteous anger, or indignation, that 'they don't have the right to...(fill in the blank)'. I claim to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. But if I'm being truly a disciple, which means I'm learning from who he is and becoming like him through a growing, deepening relationship, then I need to be taking his example to heart. And that means burying my face in the dust. That means turning the other cheek, and being willing to humble myself in the sight of God and my fellow humanity, and be willing to expose my shortcomings. Even if that means being misunderstood. even if that means rejection and sacrifice. "For men are not cast off by the Lord forever..." Liam and I were speaking this morning over pancakes, bacon, and maple syrup (with plenty of OJ and coffee) about how insecurity seems to be a part of the human condition. No matter what we do, we never seem to be able to entirely escape from it. I'm even insecure about my insecurities - I so despise being insecure that at any little insecurity which manifests itself I worry that I'm becoming insecure. Which only feeds my insecurity. Insecurity seems to be the thought that we will be discovered as not being able to 'measure up', and found outthat we're pretending. But if we're face in the dust, so low that the dirt's grinding between our teeth, then the only place that confidence can come from is God. If we make all our confidence in "the salvation of the Lord", that confidence enables us to be broken in our place of insecurity, to be honest about who we are, to get off our high horse and be willing to get battered on the other side of our face. Then, despite how we're perceived by ourselves or others, we are freed to live in God's confidence, in the confidence of His salvation. Once we reach the broken place, that's when God can make us back up into the people he'd have us be. He can put his treasure in these jars of clay. God loves to use the weakest of the world for his purpose. It demonstrates his greatness... I'm inspired today to be broken.

Snowboarding in Tignes

2005-12-27T21:40:00.000Z

Well in less than a week I'll have flown south jsut before leaving to France for a weekand a half of snowboarding with my family. Can't wait! I'm dropping the snow report here so I can see it every time I go online without searching, and so you guys can check how much fun I should be having... Check this out.

Posting from Ecto - Hot!!!

2005-12-27T21:13:00.000Z

Check this out! My first ever post from Ecto.... I hear the Windows based version is pretty archaic compared to the Mac version but I thought I'd check it out on a free trial just the same.... We'll see how this bad boy goes! Also, I've created a little "Sauce of the Week" section in the sidebar since in our house we're trying to check out a new sauce every week.... Maybe I'll provide litle reviews of each one. As I couldn't find any photo's for the sauces we're on just now, I thought I'd start with the old favorite - Endorphin Rush. This stuff was insane. It was bought as a joke for my family by my old friend Jesse Foot and then I STUPIDLY made a dare with some buddies to eat a teaspoon full of the stuff. Here's what the website says: Here's the rush you've wanted to experience! Release the sensation that only the very special taste of Endorphin Rush can! Heightens any food: first an explosion of flavor, then a wave of heat! The rush that goes beyond hot! I say that it's the hottest thing I've ever tasted, it burned through my intestines in less than 12 hours, and gave the the biggest case of after-shock i've ever experienced (if you know what I'm saying). Have a good night everyone!

In the Meantime...

2005-12-05T20:38:00.000Z

In case you just Can't Wait for the rest of my post once Flickr is up and running, here's a couple of thing to be amused and informed by... World News from the BBC Kanye West is coming to Glasgow- playing at the SECC!!! Buy tickets while you still can.... David Crowder Band. Be entertained. Be inspired. Be a GoodReader. Be Boot Scoot Boogie #2. Be looking funny. "Constantly probing the scientific underpinnings of music and worship, David Crowder Band once again explores deep beneath the surface on its first full-length studio project since 2003’s "Illuminate." With "A Collision," the six-piece modern worship outfit unfurls its most diverse and sonically compelling album to date – an 18-track set clocking in at a satisfying 73 minutes and change." Lifted from Crosswalk Have a good night...

The wheels on the bus

2005-12-05T19:33:00.000Z

Well, as promised, a week on I've finally had the time and the inclination (at the same time, which is key) to sit down and photo blog a little about my trip to Cornwall....

I was going back for Thanksgiving originally, but a plethora of factors meant that I spent forever on the raod, only to miss TWO Thanksgiving dinners by only a few hours each way! Firstly, when I should've been booking my CHEAP CHEAP flight down south I didn't have the DO RE MI necessary for such a mode of travel so I waited.... (near-FATAL MISTAKE #1). Then when I went to book my flights, they were too expensive, so I had to book a bus (yes you heard it) a bus trip instead (near-FATAL MISTAKE #2). On the upside, this entire bus journey (including the bus-card I had to purchase to get the good prices) cost half what the best-priced flight would have been. Then, I find out that because my little bro was having his engagement party on the day we would ahve had thanksgiving dinner, we were going to have it on sunday instead, and I'd miss it by on hour as my bus left that morning (Don't worry Jake I won't hold it against you or Beth). THEN, I found out that my family was also going to Jesse and Tracee Foot's house for Thanksgiving on Thursday night, while I was to be on the bus south - I was gutted, but I got over it.

So, the journey begins at Aberdeen bus station on the freezing cold and rainy night of Thursday the 24th of November, 2005. I got on a bus, took some sleeping pills, and didn't fall asleep til after this 1am service station stop somewhere on the M6.

Unbelievable. I couldn't get to sleep the night before and then those crazy pills meant I was STILL asleep when i woke up in London on Friday morning. One double GBL from Starbucks later and I was feeling a little better as the sun came up over London.

I finally got to cornwall about 21 hours after getting on the first bus in Aberdeen, to find it under 4 inches of snow! Crazy. I've never seen that much snow stick in Cornwall before. It was beautiful - there was almost no-one on the roads, the place had ground to a halt. AFter dinner I went out and played in the snow with my little bros Jake and Ben, sister Rebekah, and nephew Elijah. It was COLD man.

Do you know what? This is taking far too long with Blogger's software. I think I need to get a Flickr account....

Congrats....

2005-11-29T14:02:00.000Z

Congratulations are due to both Liam Byrnes and Dave Bish, two good friends of mine who both recently achieved a permalink on the frontpage of TallSkinnyKiwi's site. A spot on Andrew Jones' site is truly an honor so I'm sure they're both stoked (I know Liam is cause he ran out to the car as I left just to tell me!).

For those of you who don't know who Andrew Jones is or why he's known as the Tall Skinny Kiwi (which I thought was pretty self-explanatory), then I suggest you visit his site at the above link. Andrew Jones is one of the most progressive thinkers regarding church and emergent church that I have yet come across. His writings have definately been a catalyst, making me rethink the way things have always been in the church, and see how we should let our thinking be transfomed by who Jesus was and is. I 100% recommend you checking his site out if you haven't already.

Congrats people.

Back from the Journey

2005-11-29T13:54:00.000Z

Well I have finally arrived back in North-East Scotland after a full night of travel back up from london on the the National Express... It was gutting to be on a bus rather than a plane but once I got over my stupid middle-class tendencies and forgot about airplanes, it wasn't that bad! There were certainly good parts like getting the whole back row to myself at points so i could stretch out and go to sleep.... Also the Funfares are well worth checking out. If you're ever in a tight spot and need s cheap ride, this is the way to go!

I hope to blog the trip properly over the next few days. It was a blessed time of good food, friendship, and time for my heart and God. I needed that - maybe the 45 hours of bus were a blessing in disguise after all!

Internet Cafe...

2005-11-28T17:16:00.000Z

I'm sitting in an internet cafe somewhere outside vicoria station in central London, passing the time before my 12 hour bus saga home... I just finished sitting a 3 hour exam that turned into 5 hours of sitting in an exam hall - it was difficult but painless. I'm now tired and ready to roll... literally! Have a good night people! Look forward to John's trip blog coming soon to a website near you! Bless up

Need of a bling laptop (maybe not need)

2005-11-23T23:41:00.000Z

Mmmmmm. This is the night before I take a pretty much 24 hour bus journey to cornwall, and I'm just realizing how much I could do with a bling laptop like liam's with so ectoblog offline blogging love on it.... Well, maybe one day it'll be a reality! In the man time I'm hitting the sack. Sweet dite of the day: DCB - check it out.

Wireless in the Wilderness!!!

2005-11-12T01:57:00.000Z

Well, all I can say is welcome back to my now operational blog after months of off-time. It's been a while since my last post, the main difficulty being that I haven't had a good opportunity to get near an available computer with good net access very often over the past few months... BUT tonight marks the first night of our brand spanking wirless setup in the house - maybe North-east scotland isn't so far behind after all! No promises, but definately watch this space, as I do have some serious blogging to catch up on.... Have a sweet night people! Oh yeah thanks to Liam for starting crazy rumors that I might be picking this blogging baton back up.... Blessings.

The night before the last day....

2005-06-14T22:06:00.000+01:00

Well this is it - tomorrow is my last exam and i will forever (well for the forseeable future anyway) again return to university. Very crazy.

Tonight i went out and stood on the flat roof as the sun was setting and was just thanking God for his goodness and fiathfulness to me over the last few years here. It's been almost three years since i showed up in this neck of the woods driving my little Fiat Panda. look what God's done! It's been a rollercoaster for sure, and it has NOT always been easy (as my parents and friends will testify) but it has been GOOD.

One horizon at a time.

As the sun sets on this one, as this horizon passes under my feet, i can see the next one in the distance. I have no idea what lays beyond it. I don't know how to get to it. I just know that I have to keep walking in that direction, and my father will lead me. Bless up people,

John

2005-06-06T21:11:00.000+01:00

Today was a rather large day. Not only did I have my first exam of my last semseter at university - the beginning of the end so to speak - but tickets for Live 8 Live went on sale today by text or post.

I'm not normally one for massive hype without substance. So, at first i was dubious. I wear the wristband, and I support the ethos behind the movement to Make Poverty History, but sometimes it has seemed like putting a Band-Aid on an open wound. Cancelling the massive debt of many third-world countries (which has often been pretty horribly inflicted on them by western colonialism, consumerism, and capitalism) has deeper and more massive ramifications than are apparent at first glance. Economically, the impact isn't really clear, but it could cause a world-wide downtrun or something like that (dont ask me I'm not an economist). Once that debt is cancelled, what is there to stop the corruption evident in many of those countries from re-digging the freshly filled hole?

But, beyond the cynicism, there is a great level of truth in this whole movement. What is it that we as Christians are supposed to exhibit? That's it - the love of a God who pours out grace and forgiveness regardless of whether we deserve it (or not) and whether we will turn our backs on his kindness (all over again). So, how can we sit by, worried about a downturn in the world economy that will affect our lives in a small manner (well small in the scope of things), while millions die all over the world. How can we sit by while we can do something?

What can one small person do? Surely this is the role of politicians and governments to decide. Sure it is, but it's our obligation to make our voices heard. If we as part of these great rich countries don't make our democratic voices heard now, then how can we hold our governments to account for their actions? If we don't do it now, then maybe we'll be held to account one day. Know what I'm saying?

So get the wristband. Go to the concerts. Have a blast. Be a voice.

Blogging is back.

So. Live 8, Make Poverty History, Make Trade Fair, all these things - sure they do NOT fix the problem. But hey do

Sam Rich.... Man of God

2005-04-22T16:24:00.000+01:00

Just read Sam's latest post through my RSS, and I want to give credit. God is so good, and I'm stoked to know Sam Rich! Just want to say, you go bro - lets do this thing, run this race together. I like it a lot! Bless up. Check out Sam's bling site and his post here...

Update

2005-04-21T11:09:00.000+01:00

Contrary to popular belief I have not stopped blogging, and don't have any plans at this point to stop. I just don't feel the need to continually blog - especially while i already spend upwards of ten hours a day sitting staring at the screen of m computer! Perhaps one of these days (post dissertation, structural analysis, and propulsion technology) I'll remember that sitting at my computer could be fun and didn't hurt my eyes. Then I'll find the time to blog more extensively on what I'm feeling. Some of the things i would do/blog about/set up if I had that inclination would be: Set up Flickr. In the meantime, check out Liams Flickr photos and his photo blog - turning into quite the ameteur photographer there bro! Make my blog look as bling as this site. Micah Goulart is a guy I met in Brazil and he has the skills. Read and comment more on Tallskinnykiwi's comments regarding Carson's new book. make my own comments regarding my journey through McLaren's A Generous Orthodoxy. Til then, bless up. J

2005-04-05T20:14:00.001+01:00

Meanwhile plugging away through this dissertation of love. Pray for me people....!

2005-04-05T20:14:00.000+01:00

Blogging from Hello - as I feel too busy to blog... and have done for the last few weeks. Just thought I'd share this nice photo - it speaks loud of the father heart of God to me. It's one of the finalist for AOL's best photo of the year - i voted for it.

2005-03-28T22:20:00.000+01:00

Easter almost came and went without my stopping to notice....

Thank you God that it didn't!

It's been over a week since my last post, and that week has been a crazy blur of coursework and Starbucks. On Friday and Saturday, everyone else left for home, and I was left here working on an Air Transport Management assignment. Thrilling I know! Saturday evening the Jutester and I trekked down to Breakout - a monthly youth outreach about 20 miles from here. It wasn't feeling much like easter - normally at home we make it a big deal about remembering Jesus over the weekend. I know, its good to remember all the time, but Easter's always been a special time. Anyway, to cut a long one short, at Breakout i was nailed again with the realization - not just the head realization, but the deep deep, deeper than you knnow realization - of just HOW awesome and HOW powerful it is that awesome God, Jesus Christ, sacrificed his own righteousness, body, and blood, that i could be deeply and wholly cleansed from every sin and impurity. Its an insane mystery, one which i hope to never forget and one which i pray always cuts me to the heart.

Later on that night, we went over to Caz Webb's house for Greek midnight communion. It was a ceremony full of love and beautiful symbolism. Makes me wish that we could do it all the time, but then it would become another institution i guess! Again though, I was cut to the core as we ate that bread, drank long warm drinks from the wine, and watched the candlelight (to the sounds of Coldplay - you should try it!). Do you really know what it means to be cleansed and given a new heart, a new life, new hope, a future, through the awesome power of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ? Something breaks deep down when it finally hits home. I think in our busy Western society we could do with cultivating a heart that can be hit with such simple truth to such an amazing depth more often. I know it's what i want.

So, as you can probably guess, my Easter turned out to be one of the most powerful ones i've had ia while. May we never lose that wonder God - as we walk this walk and foray off into deep theology, hardcore ministry, simple laughter - may it all forever be colored and softened by that eternal act of love.

Arithmetic

2005-03-20T17:10:00.000Z

Been introduced to a good song in the last 24 hours that has beautiful poetic imagery... Let this feed your soul....

I've been staring at the sky tonight

Marvelling and passing time

Wondering what to do with daylight

Until I can make you mine

You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I've been thinking of changing my mind

It never stays the same for long

But of all the things I know for sure

You're the only certain one

You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I've been counting up all my wrongs

One sorry for each star

See I'd apologise my way to you

If the heavens stretched that far

You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I won't find what I am looking for

If I only "see" by keeping score

'Cos I know now you are so much more

than arithmetic

'Cos if I add,

if I subtract

If I give it all,

try to take some back

I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact

That you are the sum

So you are the one

I want

When the years are showing on my face

And my strongest days are gone

When my heart and flesh depart this place

From a life that sung your song

You'll still be the one I want

Arimetic by Brooke Fraser

I think this song sums up for me some of the mystery of the otherness of God that I've been thinking on a lot lately. Reason, logic, and intellect have their place without doubt in this walk in God's footsteps, but only tempered with the mystery of who he is.

Thanks to the McPeaks for last night's sweet evening of fun, good music, and a good feed. Look forward to spending much more time with you guys over the times to come!

Vision - hope for the future. Jesus - hope for the heart.

2005-03-17T23:44:00.000Z

This is officially the end of a long day of study. It's been a good one but one of those ones where you set targets and don't halfway achieve them... All the same, it's been a good day, and officially day TWO(!!!) of MY spring - I have no idea when the real one starts/started but these last two days have been sweet with the promise of summer sun and all that comes with that (e.g. and end to the seemingly endless work)!

Interesting to see Liam post on Vision today - vision's been a big thing for me for the last few days. interesting that it's a thing which is beginning to boil in my heart - not just vision, but the hope that springs up with that vision. Hope that one day that fulfillment will be reached, and a hope for more after that.

At the same time as vision is sprining up, a realization deep deep down, maybe deeper than ever before, of who Jesus is, and what he has done for me, is dawning on my soul. Like the slow but sure casting out of winter by spring, which brings the promise of summer, is the slow but sure casting out of doubt and fear in my heart, by the realization - more than that - the mystery of Jesus Christ, and his heart not just for me, but for this world. Awesome awesome, crazy, yes, outlandishly outrageously stupendously over-done, over-paid, pressed down , shaken together, pouring down my beard (ew.... yes, i have not shaved for several days... looking grotty), is this love displayed once and for all by Jesus on that cross.

And it's not like Jesus just went - yeah i love you guys, and now I'm leaving you to get on with life - no! He's given us, more than that, invested into us, engraved into our hearts (more than that - replaced our hearts, and given us new ones), with the holy spirit, whose renewing and transforming power is permeating our very souls for our whole lives, changing the way we think, how we act, who we look like, what we talk like, what we know, and turning our hearts back to GOD.

yes. i like summer.

but more that the fact that I like summer...

I'm loving being given the first signs of spring right now (like the budding tree), and waiting in anticipation of summer and all that it brings.

Yeah baby. Check out Liam's Photo Blog - he's becoming quite the ameteur photgrapher... blessings readers

reader ;-)

Leonard Sweet

2005-03-15T23:08:00.000Z

For anyone interested in the writings of Leonard Sweet (who's book, Out of the Question... Into the Mystery I will get around to finishing at some point) will be interested to know that he's just set up a new website. This one is totally devoted to the media which has shaped his thinking - books films music etc. It's in the form of a cool 3-d building which you get to walk around as a character which you choose. Fairly simple but cool. Check it out....

Emerging leadership and vision.

2005-03-15T17:27:00.000Z

Blogger is running SOOOOO slow today. So slow that it's painful. This will be a post when i have a fast enough blog server to post it! It's going to be about emerging forms of leadership as inspired by several Tallskinnykiwi posts lately.... Watch this space!

Ok now that blogger seems to be running in some respects, maybe I'll be able to post and MAYBE it wont delete it. But then if you just read that, then its posted fine and all is well. Was talking to the resident beefcake Jeff Reid today across several thousand miles and ten time zones - Hawaii is a long way from here! Needless to say, as usually happens whenever I hang with Jeff, I've been inspired, challenged, and blown away by some of the stuff he said - but then I'll get into that later.

I have been intrigued by a recent post on Tallskinnykiwi's blog (not that that doesn't normally happen, I just don't normally chew on it enough to warrant a blog post). He was talking on new and old wineskins (let me read it again to make sure i get it right), in terms of leadership systems, and whether emerging churches can survive the traditional top-down model of church leadership well. I've got to say, I've been really challenged in my thinking through reading his blog, and so much of what I do read more than anything sparks off my thought processes, whereas normall Andrew blog's from a place of completed thought and journey on the subject. Here are my thoughts all the same. Firstly, why does my head react immediately in some respects to the suggesting of the more laissez-faire form of leadership put forward and practiced among emerging models? To use an example used by Andrew in a subsequent post, the way bloggers blog is a good example of the emerging form of leadership. Andrew posts a thought-provoker, many people comment, go away and write on it themselves, others comment on their comments, things happen, decisions are made, stances on issues shift, etc. The emerging model of leadership is maybe more that of a catalystic leadership role, kindof like the spark which lights the fire. Once the fire's lit, the spark doesn't necessarily need to still be there. To be fair, most of what I'm writing is simply brain-splurge but what can you do. These are my questions about leadership. But then, is this model of leadership necessarily that far from a hierarchal, yet maybe more Christlike and biblical (i use that term with caution, knowing interpretation on a subject as varied as leadership can lead to many different ideas about what the Bible says on it) form of leadership found among many churches I know of. In these churches, the leader acts as the spark of an idea, or vision, and his team and the multiplying vision among them sees the vision grow, propgate, prosper, etc. Much like a rhizome or ant colony I guess. While I'm not so stoked on the hierarchal overly-interventionist forms of church government, i think in this respect, leadership should be the same regardless of if you are the old-wineskin, new-wineskin, post old-wineskin, or whatever wineskin you care to put yourself in. This is definately not finished in my head, but to write any more would only confuse me more i think! Definately thoughts to ponder anyway.

As regards to the other part of this blog title, vision, I've got some interesting thoughts. This is in some respects a response to Liam's post on Vision part 1 the other day. Some really good stuff there I - quotes like:

"Vision is not something that exists as a basis for our lives, Jesus is the rock, so failure of vision dosent mean a de-throning of Jesus, or his power. Gods plan will not and can not be hindered by our works, his Final plan is in the hands of the almighty. Vision also dosent need to be something that comes in a massive vision or dream, we can inspired by other people and scripture and just say 'this needs to be done, I want to advance the kingdom in this way, and commit to being faithful in completing it'."

Right on bro. Vision unfulfilled - definately a problem for a lot of chrisitans, especially in more 'charismatic' circles. I was visiting a church just last sunday where the guy was talking about vision. He was saying how we should distinguish between vision and goals. I'm not saying he's right, I'm just throwing this out there, but I think there could be some truth in this anyway. He was saying how goals are things we set for ourselves. I want to do this by then, i want to see these things happen in this way. Vision though, God lays on our heart. The difference, he said, is that while goals can often facilitate the fulfilling of a vision that God's laid on our hearts, we should allow god to fulfill that vision. He was saying how only god can fulfill the visions. All we can do is be faithful in pressing on towards the goals.

I think I like this but then I dont. I like it because it takes the pressure off me to see the fulfillment of a vision laid on my heart. Just like that guy who liam talks about - love that story - the missionary to Korea. God laid the vision on his heart to take the message of God to the Koreans. If he had had the goal of seeing millions come to know god there, he would have been severely disappointed to be killed. But since he had the goal of working toward the fulfillment of that vision, he could die satisfied that he had played his part with all his heart. As a prologue to that story, God has now largely fulfilled the vision he laid on that man's heart.

I don't like this way of thinking though because it can cause me to be a slacker if i had the wrong attitude about it. Worth thinking about though I think.

About that phone call with Jeff - it was sweet because it drove me to God - to the point where i spent all morning with him instead of doing other stuff. I learned al lot about my heart, and saw God lay more vision on me than ever before. I also saw him start to point me in terms of where I go from here. It was a sweet morning in his prescence - to the soundtrack of Hans Zimmer....

Closing thought - Jeff mentioned how he heard a lady speak at his DTS last week about how when she started to spend hours with God, seeking mroe of his heart and transformation in and through her, and less time working at stuff, that was when god gave the a whole vineyard instead of just a grape as fruit of her labor. Interesting. Very very scary and daring. Do I dare to be one of those people who step out completely into the realm of the supernatural - where failure is the only option if God doesn't step in? Do i have the guts to go entirely out on the limb - to the twigs at the very end, and then jump off, knowing that if God doesn't catch me, i will fall. Case in point (Jeff you's the don) Elijah. He pours that water on the altar BEFORE he asks god to burn it up. He's taking it totally into the unbelievably impossible place before he even asks God to do it. Crazy, crazy man...

Miles Davis

2005-03-14T22:41:00.000Z

What better way to end a day than blog a few things on your heart while listening to the jazzmaster himself. Yes, my eyes are tired but it's worth a bash on the keyboard.

Today I met my mentee. For you who don't know what a mentee is, a mentee is someone who you mentor. I'm part of a mentoring program which runs from a youth cafe in a town near here, and basically involves inputting into a kid's life for a few hours a week. But that's not the point. This guy, who I'm stoked to be mentoring (and who i could use prayer on hey), his name's Daniel. He's 15 years old, and lives in a youth home because his dad's an alchoholic and his step-mom's mentally ill. he doesn't know where his real mom is. Though only 15, he's already tagged (a band around his ankle which means he has to be in by 9pm every night, or the police are electronically notified), in a youth probation program, and has 9 points on his driving licence (which he isn't old enough to have yet), and a two-year driving ban for when he is old enough.

Now that's a lot for some dude who's 15. On the drive back home tonight i was thinking about this. I am so over-priviledged, yet so often i forget about that and can't see anything but my troubles. Sure, I'm at uni and I have more work than I've ever had in my life, and my own share of issues to work through. But I'm so blessed to not have baggage. I'm so blessed to have people who believe in me. I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to be educated and get a good job. I'm so blessed to have family. I'm so blessed to know i'm loved, not just by people around me, but by the Maker of the Universe. That is crazy. This guy Dan has none of that (right now).

Maybe most of us (well, me anyway0 ned to count our blessings a little more often. This thought process has been on my heart since Meegan posted last weekend on Walkergirls. Check out this link, and tell me this doesn't kill you. It would most certainly not be a waste of life to drop everything right now, and just get out there and start loving people who need some of the blessing that's been bestowed on us. It guts me to the core to watch this.

Other than that, I've been lost in the later Psalms for most of the past week, and getting lost in the love that God speaks over me there. I'm talking from roughly psalm 120 to psalm 140. I know it's not very deep theologically but just now, it's all I need! There's plenty of time for going deeper. just now I'm "soaking". Yeah baby. Lets spread around some of that 'soaking action'.....

2005-03-14T13:54:00.000Z

I'm just about to run out to a class but just so you all know - the weekend was good. Included a lot of coursework, strabucking, and trips to spooky old houses....

Looks like something from the Adams family.

Question of the night.

2005-03-10T23:01:00.000Z

Q: Is potato on your keyboard a bad thing? A: Probably depending on where it is. I just got back froma great evening out with friends and family. In the family of god's church that is. It was sweet ot be hanging with sweet people. FIrst off, I went out for coffee with Shannan and Laura McPeak, an awesome couple from New Zealand who I've met lately. Two espresso Macchiato's later I'm quite wired and really blessed to know those guys - I look forward to more time together and more sharing in life and following Jesus together. It was sweet guys. The forest fruit cheescake rocked aswell. yeah baby. Then, a quick detour with the Jutester to Fleet to meet up with Mark Methven and Lewis Tonks. Definately two up and coming men of God there - we just met in a car park outside Fleet train stations, stood with hands on each other's shoulders, blessed each other, worshipped god, interceded for things, and generally were brothers together. Only about half an hour, but great. Church as it was meant to be I feel... I think God was smiling at us as we desired hearts like his heart.... Last night was good too in the end - Lifechurch with the lads, it ended up being a time of more reality and depth than we've had yet together I think, and i hope it's a sign of bigger, better, and deeper things to come. So, i'm pretty thankful! Also, I'm through to round two of pimp my ride it would seem.... I had an email back from the producer of it asking for 10 more photos and all the info... Yeah baby - roll on my Kev status... NOT! but still it would be fun. So anyway, just to finish this short post - again, church at it's best is sweet. God is good to his people. blessings!

Thought of the day and my new car.... I can dream can't I?

2005-03-09T19:02:00.000Z

Check out my new ride on the left.... Mmmm hmmm i know what you're thinking.... Sweet as you like, I'm now big pimpin' it up in the Benzo. beamer. Whatever! Yeah like the title says i'm allowed to dream. But this was a good dream... BMX M3 CSL. Yes yes, ladies and gents, this is probably $100,000 dollars or more worth of overpriced but oh so awesome German engineering genius. Check my bad self looking so hard core there in the backstreets. Back in Compton. Bling.

But then you never know.... MTV's Pimp My Ride is coming to england and what do you know? I've applied. Yes yes, readers of love, I might be officially pimped by Timmy Westwood himself. If you don't know what Pimp My Ride is or want to apply yourself, then you know what to do! That bad boy granny's car of a Nissan may just find itself lookin all spangly in the very near future....

Right now I'm listening to the Band of Bees - A Minha. For tunes that make the Foot babies dance and jump - check it out here....

So anyway, thought of the day occured during my afternoon shift at the global corporation they call Starbucks. I was taking out the garbage, and walked past the pizza aisle of the Sainsbury's store where the Starbucks is, and I suddenly thought about how much a pizza would not go down right now, and it would feel like a brick in my stomach. That is truly an earth shattering experience, to turn down even the thought of pizza - i know that in previous years i have often been given to lingering over the thought of a steaming slice of Italian cuisine, but not today people. Is this the start of a new era? I hope not.

On a slightly different tack, I was reading in Mark today about the last supper.... The bread and the wine - the Eucharist, communion, whatever you want to call it. It brought my thoughts back to a lot of talk which i think was going on online a few months ago about this subject, and how maybe evenagelical chrisitans can learn a lot from the catholic way of celebrating it etc. I think i need to look into this more, but at least i think it's worth saying that I have noticed that when it comes to the Lord's supper (whatever you want to call it), there is often a quite lacadaisical(?) attidude towards it. I don't want it to be that for me. So i'm going to look into it. Watch this space.

So yeah. Have a good night everyone, I'm out at the youth Lifegroup of my church tonight. It should be interesting at the very least... Blessings.

Where are you going

2005-03-07T23:18:00.000Z

This is a song by Dave Matthews that I've been stuck on for a little while now - it's got a great tone, expecially the version on the Live in Central Park album. Listening to it now and it is good...

My time right now is slowly but surely being surrendered to the final year rush. Yes, it is definately upon me - I have 5 major assignments along with my final year project which should ideally all be in before May. That is, if I really want to be able to study for the exams in June.... Yes, it is here, and though sometimes it does seem like a bit of a mountain, in two and a half years God and I have climbed every one we came up against, why should this one be any different? It isn't, and maybe that's why i'm not so scared as I could, or should be. All it means is long days and long nights for a while... and that extra 900% which God equips me to do. It really is unbelievable at times how he pours out blessing on my work - sometimes I even feel like it's not me typing or writing....

The last weekend was one of a lot of struggle, but one of a lot of blessing. I got a chance to chill out with just me for once, which was really nice. Phil and Jules were away all weekend so they lent me their house and I loved it! It's free-ing to have you own place definatley. At the same time, i wouldn't move out for the world right now I don't think. My flatmates rule.

It was Mother's day here on Sunday, so I sent Mom some flowers, and got a phone call from her - it was sweet to talk to mom. It seems that somehow as i grow up, the more i appreciate who she is and what she does, and the more I love her dearly, but the less attached I become to her. All the same, on sunday, i needed some mothering. I am so blessed to have some ladies in my church who do mother me, but I would have loved to have you there Mom. You're the sweetest thing to me. (Soppy but true, I'm a self-confessed Momma's boy as much as I'm a Poppa's boy).

Today I've been wondering about a Book which Andrew Jones seems to be reading. it's by Jean-Luc Marion and it's called being Given: Towards a Phenomenology of Giveness.... Wondering to the extent that I wish someone could tell me what it's about, but not to the extent that I'll buy the book and just find out. Also beeing thinking about a term which I've seen bantered around 'The Otherness of God'. What does that truly mean? Realizing my seeming ineptness at all things theological and orthodoxical at this point in my life. I feel like a beginner on a very, very long journey. I was talking to Louis last night also about how to critique things and figure stuff out without being too exclusive or inclusive - striking a balance between acceptance and no compromise. Maybe those are two things which run together instead on tension, but I've yet to figure it out. Many things to figure out, conceptualize, pricinpalize(?). Many mysteries to be lost in forever, never to be fathomed or boxed-up, dumbed-down, or simplified. Many mistakes to be made, many personal revelations to discover. What a challenge! What a journey we are called into.... What a blessing and honor to walk in this life, down the road, into the unknown, into the journey (long as it may be, and as calloused and torn our bare feet may get), holding the hand of Jesus. The God of it all - I feel in overawed and priviliged, like a when i was a kid walking next to my dad, looking up at his strength. Cool.

In the mean time, lost in wonder, lost in love, lost in praise. Jesus still has my heart! He'll always have it....

This is a cop out.

2005-03-04T22:48:00.000Z

Yes, this IS, ladies and gents, a cop out. Check out the following blogs for cool stuff. Good picture of Liam, Mix, and me on Byrnesy's Blabberings Cool thought provoking poem on Si Johnston's Blog Thought provoking quote on Arlen's blog Thought provokingness about pride on Meegan's Blog Nice post from last monday on love - Bo's blog (nice one bro) have a nice night, I'm house-sitting all weeking for Phil and Jules... Stoked to have a sweet house to myself. Pretending it's mine lol. It's nice to get some good time by myself though hey. Have a blessed weekend everyone. Search for Him.... In his grip, John

Eugene Peterson

2005-03-02T19:05:00.000Z

Some good quotes of Eugene peterson on Arlen Hanson's blog... read on and be challenged.

2005-03-02T18:26:00.000Z

This past weekend the Jutester and I trekked 550 miles north to hang out with my good friend Liam Byrnes in Aberdeen, Scotland. What a drive, what a weekend. It was a time of intense fun, blessing, side-splitting laughter, and good coffee. It was sweet to see Liam being established as the man of God he is in that town, and seeing the ways which God is challenging him and causing him to grow. Spent time with awesome people up there (you can check out Graham, Jane, Fraser, the Jutester, Liam, and me in the photo), and heard a lot about what is on God's heart for me. I think it's time I got down and did some serious business with God regarding next year and the next step - wherever and whatever that means.... All of the sudden there are many options, some of which I'm really excited about.

Spent Saturday evening and the whole day on Sunday with friends up in St. Combs, which is a little town about 50 miles north of Aberdeen, in what has become Liam's local church. We got to spend time with awesome people who i haven't seen for a year and a half, the Craig, Stu, and Rach Fyvie, and Lindsay Espie. Really awesome times, and felt really at home up there in that church... We'll see what happens there - watch this space.

Scotland is a land of intense beauty. The picture on the right was early Sunday morning - it doesn't do justice to the sunrise that morning, but I thought it was worth putting up anyway. It calls to my heart up there. So anyway, yeah it was a real time of rest for my heart and soul, a time to get inspired and a time to seek God. It was sweet. I'm waffling I know.

Tonight I'm going out for a curry with some friends in Bordon. We're going to be looking at what we see as God's heart for that town and how we can enact that. I think there might be more than that but we'll see. Been checking out Si Johnston's blog lately, as he's a good man in London in terms of Emerging church etc. Going to see if I can get over to Headspace at some point soon.

Will update more soon and hopefully write some of the stuff I've been chewing over lately in terms of doctrine and theology. Blessings.

Taking up the cross

2005-02-24T11:17:00.000Z

Today I'm reminded of a quote of an old friend of my Dad's. It goes something like this I think:

"If you're going to follow Jesus, people will walk all over you.

Let them do it."

Credit where it's due, I don't remember the guy's name, but if I did I'd reference him. Basically what it's saying is that if you decided to live a life of love, you'll be misunderstood, miscommunicated, and people will take advantage of you to boot. Let them do it. yeah pretty painful but hey. I guess that's what Jesus was all about anyway. And I claim to be a follower of that man who 'did not open his mouth'. Well I'd better follow him then.

So, though i feel a lot like people lately have been taking advantage, and many circumstances have been against me, and false charges are being made, it's ok, it's alright, cause God sees. And anyway, "who can bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?" Romans 8v33.

So here I go out to face the music tonight. Those of you who read this pray that I've got the humility and sense of identity to be teachable and secure as charges are brought tonight. Thanks.

Short post again!

2005-02-23T19:15:00.000Z

This is a short one, cause right now blogging is taking a bit of a backseat (I know heavy right? there's so much I'd love to blog about, plus I think I'm going to move across to Typepad or something similar soon, but i think it'll all happen after uni ends in June. Anyway.). Just a few quick things. Been thinking a lot lately about direction for life and stuff.... Loads of people have been asking me what I'm doing when i finish uni and I keep saying "not sure yet". then i get the now expected response of raised eyebrows and a tut. hmmmm. Whatever. I'm feeling a little bit like Abraham when God said go wherever I lead you and if you turn to the right or the left then i'll tell you. Or whatever. Abe had no idea where he would end up when he set off, he just knew he had to saddle up and ride camel ride. God led him. A lot! Stoked. Was stuck on the M25 for 2 and a half hours last night in an 18 mile long tailback which i had to drive through in it's entirety. While i was stuck in it, was struck by an intensely beautiful moment when the snow was coming down with all the red and white lights... It was a nice moment in the jam. Speaking of intesely beautiful, I finally saw Hero last night. Now I need to watch it again, cause I'm sure there's more to it than meets the eyes but last night i was shattered watching it. There was one sic quote but I can't remember it. Anyway. A STUNNINGLY beautiful experience. Put it on the big screen, turn it up, sit back, and drink it in. yes i liked it. Check it out. Going back to the busyness of life right now, and hoping to have peace and quietness inside even as everything is a little crazy around. I know God's speaking, I just want to hear. Aberdeen day after tomorrow. Stoked.

Sunday night....

2005-02-20T23:39:00.000Z

Vague reference to maroon 5 in the title.... Loving Sunday Morning by them just now. The smell of take-away pizza is drifitng in through my open window as i write this post. For those of you who haven't had the honor/pleasure/ummm experience of visiting my flat yet, it's now directly above a pizza joint.... Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. At least they don't have to deliver far! Ok that was only once that we were that lazy. Yeah just been doing project work all night and I'm a little fed up of it. It's going - at least - and that's definately good, but it's feeling like a slog right now! When i get some stuff worth showing together i might post some stuff so you all can feel my pain. Ha, no, I am actually stoked to be doing it. Just a few quick points before I have to cut this post short. Look out for new xml/rss/syndicate stuff coming up on this site. Liam's going to help me sort some stuff. may start using thunderbird or something too in preparation for leaving, getting iBooks, and setting up a typepad.com blog... Mmmm. Definately will be upgrading things this summer. Hero comes out tomorrow on DVD. I haven't seen it yet but i hear it's a very under-rated film so I'm going to watch it hopefully on tuesday night with some guys. All up for some heroism, bravery, and courage. On a similar theme, stoked on Aaron's post on Band of Brothers... Check that out. Lastly, stoked to be going up to the far northern corner of the UK this next weekend to see my brother Liam. They had snow up there this weekend - would love some of that. May swim in the freezing North Sea aswell. We'll see. looks like my SA bro Jute is trekking with and maybe my biological bro Jakey. again, we'll see! Sleep well all. J

Divinely Inspired - a short post on Charisma....

2005-02-17T21:54:00.000Z

This was a post i was writing about charistmatic-conservative stuff, and it was coming out completely wrong and far too judgmental so I'm going to re-write it when i get a chance and come out with where my heart actually is and throw some questions out there... Blessings all. In the meantime, i'm struggling with my dissertation right now... Final year and all. appreciate your prayers all....

Reportage

2005-02-16T17:10:00.000Z

This won't be my longest post.... I'm pretty wasted after the weekend and the past few days - It's been great but right now I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep! Were I to post today though, I'd post on some of this stuff (and you can watch this space because I might try to catch up later this week...)

1) Altar calls and prophecy - the ministry of Todd Bentley as I saw it this past week in my church here at uni. Really cool and made me love Jesus more - so that means to me that it was good, but I have thoughts and questions.... hmmmm.

2) Squash. Hitting black balls at walls in a small room. Great fun.

3) Going to Aberdeen next week baby! Hopefully anyway....

4) The wrecked clutch in my car - i need one of those £200 Volvos

5) Wagamama - Good food for the yuppie/coffee shop cultured generation which I experienced for the first time this past week.

6) Going to BAe Systems and having a base commander try and get me to join the Air Force

7) God and his goodness - Toward a Godward life 3 maybe?

8) The visit of my lovely sister Beth and her best friend (and my good friend) Lara Critchley. Beth is now somewhere over North America, Lara's in Manchester and I'm shattered from laughing lots, stayin gup late, and getting up early. Good times though. Catch up later.... For those of you who want something good to read click here...

La and Beth

iTunes - Defintely PLEASURE

2005-02-12T23:54:00.000Z

Just to say - iTunes definately ROCKS - you can share with up to 4 people on a local netowrk and we've sorted it out in our flat tonight - works a treat! I can access all of Paul's and Alex's music librarys with the click of a button... Cool. I'm definately a Apple man.

iTunes - pain or pleasure?

2005-02-11T23:44:00.000Z

Just to let all you people in the continental United States know... You are bless with a huge selection of songs on iTunes. I'm stuck with UK iTunes - it just doesn't meet the challenge of my diverse tastes. pull it together Apple UK.

The rise of the emerging blog....

2005-02-11T22:17:00.000Z

Man that Liam Byrnes is one thought provoking guy. Stoked, blessed, honored, am I to have him as the great friend he is to me. Awesome awesome.

Just writing out of response to his post 'Its a Small Blog World' with some of my thoughts on Emergent church and blog and stuff.... I was washing dishes just after I read his post on that tonight and got some good time with just me to think about stuff. Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Firstly, I'm stoked to be a part of the emerging church movement. If I can claim that actually. If being part of the Emerging church means that I've got a healthy dissatisfaction with current 'church practice' and 'Christianity' as it is seen in most circles, and I'm seeking the God-centred truth about how we're meant to live as people who walk in relationship with God, then I'm in, I'm part of the movement, I want to be there, I'm there all the way. I'm at the same time though, a little wary of totally jsut going oh yeah, "I'm emerging everyone!". Here are my reasons. Firstly, I'm still a little wary of that youthful rebellion which can so often rise in my youthful spirit and the spirits of other youthful people around me, and I want to be sure of where my heart is - that it's not just out of rebellion that i'm asking questions and pulling the thread. That's why I'm so stoked that the emerging church movement is characterized by a move of all ages in the same direction - community, relationship, etc. Very Cool. I dont think that's where my heart is, so i'm stoked. But the second thing is something entirely different. If you see the title 'Emerging' in the sense of 'yes, i've been inside that cucoon, i've been asking things, seeking god's heart about stuff for the past 'x' amount of years, and now I'm 'Emerging' like a butterfly emerges from it's cucoon into the beautiful things that God brought me to a realization of, then I think can't take that title yet. Right now, though these thoughts have started to bounce aroudn in my head for the last couple of years or so, I feel more like a caterpillar just creating my chrysalis to go and hide. I'll do plenty of emerging, but the process is only jsut beginning. I remember reading something on Andrew Jones' Blog a while ago about upstarts being all "I'm post-emergent". Whatever. I've got a long way to go and I'm a VERY unfinished Christian. So, while I'm stoked to be being led by God down this path, I'm just seeing how far i ahve to go, and I dont want to be too pretentious. But then, the whole thing about 'Emerging' is that it suggests an ongoing process. Maybe I can claim that name after all....

Other thoughts are - yes I am so stoked that blogs are taking over the net right now, and it seems a timely time for them to become popularized, especially seeing how they can, as Liam's already talking about (so I won't go into it) facilitate and encourage discussion and the sharing of ideas, inspiration, and revelation. If there was ever a time when we needed this it was now hey. So I'm stoked. It also helps people like me down here in the South-East of England, where emergin kind of thought seems definately thin on the ground, to know that I'm not alone in it and to be able to bounce stuff off people and read what others are feeling all around the world. Stoked. It is sometimes gutting that there doesn't seem to be many people asking the kind of things that my heart is asking down here, but I know that God's working in my heart, and so it's encouraging to see how he's working in the same ways in others, and has been for years already!

Sorry about the typos. Love to hear what you guys are thinking about my stuff - also if there are any of you fellow emerging hearts out there in the south-east let me know hey. Blessings. Check out Liam preaching in my student kitchen.... Liam you're a legend in your own time.... As is that hair - now gone forever??? ;)

Byrnesy Blabbering...

Wow third post today!

2005-02-11T21:55:00.000Z

I'm doing well - blatantly haven't done any work today but then I've been off-balance all day (want to know what I'm on about then read my first post...). So I'm going to do a bit of posting then go to bed.

Listening to Bethany Dillon right now. My brother's been going on about her for an age and I never really gave her music a chance but check some of it out. Really loving some of the stuff though now that I'm sitting down to it. She's totally the child prodigy it seems, though i don't know how much of her stuff she writes or what. It's not overly deep - jsut generally nice and some real good stuff in there too if you go digging. I suggest you check it out - if you don't want to buy the album then pick up some of the tracks on iTunes USA or from the "Beautiful Sessions" EP on iTunes UK. Ummm I'm digging 'A Voice Calling Out', and 'Exodus'.

Lex Brodie, who led worship a lot at the Soul Survivor events and SoulintheCity last summer has just released a sweet song on Passionforyourname.com called 'Heaven Rejoices'. It's got a good sound and speaks to my heart. Right click the link and click 'Save Target As'. Cheers to Soul Survivor/Passionforyourname.com/survivor records... i hope that covers all possible bases!

Office Linebacker Lovin

2005-02-11T18:54:00.000Z

Hey check out the links on this site. For all of you out there who are feelin it, leave a comment. I was hosing myself! Credit goes to Chris Pritchett for the link... Blessings dude.

Pain Train's comin in!

Sleeping in

2005-02-11T10:19:00.000Z

Today was one of those days where you don't have to get up early and you make a concious decision to ignore your alarm going off. It was sweet - I also had one of those dreams where you can kindof control it and keep it going - though you know you're dreaming you know? I think it's called a lucid dream. Anyway. It was cool. Then i got up and couldn't stand up straight for about 5 minutes which was pretty funny - I was walking around the house leaning on the walls! So anyway I've had a nice chilled out morning with Jesus and a big mug of the old coffee beans...

Now it's time for work and then some classes, but I've got a feeling it's going to be a cool day. I want to see Jesus leading me and walking with me in every moment of my everyday lifeness. I know he does already, but often times I'm too busy to notice. I don't want to be too busy today. Like i posted yesterday, i also dont want to get so busy thinking about church and what it means to be emergent and postmodern in this age that i miss what it means to know HIM in this age. Lets do the thing. Liam's blog's got some cool stuff on it today people. Check it out.

Politics in life

2005-02-10T18:22:00.000Z

Now Liam will probably correct me for all the things i say wrong in this, cause he's such a political genius, but politics is invading every area of my life. It pervades the very substance of any relational thing in life it seems. I'm cooking dinner right now, and in just an hour or so there's going to be a big political debate over who washes the dishes. I know I may be using the word loosely but you know what i mean - work, uni, friends (or not-so-great-friends cause usually good friends and politics dont really happen so much), family, everything! Before we even mention social policy, the marginalized, ethnic groups, and national government. Heavy. Thats why if someone says they don't do politics they're either deluded, or... well, deluded. That's why it seems to be definately irresponsible not to get into national politics or micro-politics (as in the littler areas I mentioned). Not getting into the one kindof helps to invalidate your other. WOW I'm so not politically minded.

But, I've been reading Leanard Sweet today. (BTW i finished Not Even A Hint by Josh Harris today and it really has revolutionized my thinking). Leonard. Just starting to really get into The Godlife Relationship after being stuck in my other books for a while and it's been hitting me today, how much our relationship with God should not be about politics, or principles, or belief systems, but about our actual relationship with him. I know this may sound like kindergarden stuff but I'm really feeling it lately. I think mainly it's coming about because God's causing me to start re-evaluating my walk, what I believe, what I think about church, who I see Him as, etc etc, but as I'm doing that, I'm becoming more and more aware that I don't want to box up Jesus ever. I dont want to end up confining him in my heart and thoughts to my set of principles etc that I see him as. Don't get me wrong principles and stuff are great, and help you to walk the walk that Jesus called us to when he said "follow me". But they're not what being a "Christian" is about. Being a Christian is about being someone who follows in his footsteps.

The early church didn't die the deaths of martyrs just because they wouldn't recant their set of principles. No, they diedthe deaths of martyrs because they KNEW someone, and they would NOT back out of that relationship for anyone, or anything. Thats what being a "Christian" is about. It's about being a "believer" in the true sense of the word - what it was meant to mean - something like'be living, be loving, be loving the beloved'. You want to know what I'm talking about? Read Sweet's book pg. 27. Relationship. Not knowing a set of rules to live by - but knowing the person, the object of worship himself, GOD.

Stealing a lot from Sweet's poetic words - I don't want to 'have the information but not the transformation'. I don't want to be more in love with my 'principles of peace than with the Prince of Peace'.

So, tonight a word of caution to myself and the rest of us not willing to accept the boxed-up, pre-packaged, slide down easy version of Jesus. When you're out there finding out how to follow Him truly, remember to discover who he is. He is for me and I am for him. Stoked.

Tonight I watched the real-time ER episode where the dude dies. Moving stuff... made me think. Mad me want heaven too - a bit of longing never hurt anyone. Blessings all.

...coming back to the heart...

2005-02-07T22:26:00.000Z

Yes, after this past weekend and reading Liam's post today, all i want to talk about is Grace. So amazing. So outstanding. So outrageous. Yes God is graceful to forgive and bring us back to himself- and without that I'd be lost. Thanks God.

So today, I'm just thanking you for ransoming my heart. I'm stoked - and then you didn't stop there, but you're ransomed the hearts of the world and bringing them back to yourself. Awesome. Thanks.

Deep I know.... But then again, maybe it's deeper than you thought!

Interesting Reads...

2005-02-04T11:46:00.000Z

Today I'm covering for Sye in his shop - photocopying and selling stationery. Though it's quite slow and boring and i have no idea how to run things, its ok because I'm getting to read a lot and hang out with god some... Very cool. I'm also checking out some websites - just thought I'd list some findings... The Soul Survivor magazine - New February articles, competitions and Voxpops. Got some good stuff on here about poverty, hype, Jeremaih and dreams.... Check it out! Make Poverty History - Believe it or not this is the first time I've actually visited the website. Some really good stuff on here to stir your heart into action. Also tells you where to get wristbands from although Tearfund has sold out! Walkergirls - another great post from Meegan.... I see a woman of power coming out.... Brian McLaren - The more I read of his books and stuff he's said like lately on Larry King Live (CNN), the more I'm a) impressed, b) inspired, c) challenged, d) confused. (Not confused in a bad way but instead in a way that will make me re-examine the whos whys and whats of what i believe.) His website speaks a lot of who he is I think. for the transcript of the Larry King show click here (courtesy of Andrew Jones's Website). Other than that, just chillin, lovin not being able to do anything but hang for once. YES! Yeah also throughout my reading journey today, really finding it impressed on me that we have to go and do it, live it, be it, instead of just saying and singing about it or buying the wristband. i'm going to buy a Makepovertyhistory wristband, but what's the point in just wearing something, saying something, (insert action here) something unless it's actually going to impact and make a difference? Isn't it at the core of being an evangelical (a title which I'm stoked to claim partly thanks to my upbringing and partly thanks to reading Brian this morning) about being passionate and actually doing stuff. Living it. Yes is the answer. I want to rediscover that following Jesus means actually walking in his footsteps, doing the things he did along the way... The subtect to those thoughts has been this song today (right click 'save target as'). Thanks to Tim Hughes. ;)

Tribute to a Legacy

2005-02-02T07:17:00.000Z

My Dad just got back from spending a few days in Arkansas with his parents (my grandpaarents) for Grandpa's 82nd birthday. These are his thoughts which he emailed to the rest of the family. There's nothing else I can say.

Dear Family (Nan and Nell,please pass this on to your children),Today is January 31, 2005. Last night I spent my last night in what I might term my "parent's house"). As you all know, they are packing up to move out of their own home and up to Kansas City, where they can be better cared for by their daughters. Today my heart is full, and thoughts occupy my mind as I consider their lives, their values, their legacy. I do not want what they have lived for to ever be forgotten, or to cease to speak to the generations that follow them.

From them we must all learn some things about true family life.

Building a strong family does not come about by accident. 62 years ago, John and Marty took vows on November 6,1943. They meant and kept those vows. No sooner had they become husband and wife than John left for the European War, and Marty moved from the leafy ease of Scarsdale NY to the comparative poverty and challenges of south Arkansas. She moved in with her husband's family, in order to make his people her people. South Arkansas in 1943 was a universe away from New York City! What a brave and devoted lady she was and always has been.

John survived the war and set out to be a faithful husband. Many times he has said to me "Marty's dad entrusted his precious daughter to me, and I have made it my aim always to honour him by truly caring for her." What a picture of faithfulness that man has been in my life, and in the lives of all he touched, both in family and in business!. They were dirt poor when they started out in married life. They lived for two years in a tiny trailer at the University of Missouri. Yet they began to lay foundations of faithfulness which stand strong till this very day. What a devoted husband John has been. What a devoted wife Marty has been. To see them now, well into their eighties, so in love, so committed to each other, makes me take stock of my life: What else counts but faithfulness and devotion? What fruit true faithfulness bears.

Consider with me that during our upbringing, neither Nell, Nancie, nor myself, ever once had cause to question our parents' love either to each other, or to us as their children. I think of all the thousands of miles John travelled, the hundreds of nights in hotel rooms. I think of how strikingly beautiful Marty was (is!) and of times when unscrupulous men looked her way. But never did these two compromise their vows. Not once did they put their home in jeopardy. Never once was their children's security threatened.

I think of their unmatched generosity. How many lives have been touched by their willing ness to give and reach out to help. I think of the enthusiastic, selfless hours which Dad has put into each of us, at various times, helping us complete some project, find some product, develop some scheme. What an enthusiastic love of others he always had! His generosity was only matched by that of his dear wife's, who never failed to love and give extravagantly. I can remember her waiting up all night during a heavy snow for me to return from work, meeting me at the door with tears and a smile. They taught their children to go beyond what is expected, and strive to be exceptional givers. I doubt that we will ever match or eclipse their giving spirit.

They could be tough! I can well remember the board of education meeting the seat of knowledge in their home! I remember like yesterday when I, a cocky 17yr. old, met the deserved fury of my 51 yr old dad. George Foreman would have been proud of him! But I learned my much needed lesson, and never doubted his unending love for me. In fact, I cannot recall a day going by when I was not told that I was loved and valued by my parents. Every day my mother would wake me for school by drawing back my curtains and greeting me with a warm "good morning ,son, I sure do love you!" John and Marty were more strict that any parents I knew. For us children, it was "yes sir", and "no ma'am". But, funny, "peer pressure" was somehow no match for their consistency, values, and love. It was just plain nicer to be home with them than out carousing with the gang. John and Marty, with their love, standards, and grace, made it easy for their children to believe in the Living God.

I see them now, sitting together in their chairs, able to look back on a live well lived, with little or nothing to regret. Younger ones, do we realize the immeasurable value of reaching the end of our days without regret.? How many will regret the rash decisions made in youth, the turns in life governed by selfish interests rather than by principle. Watching John and Marty reminds me that integrity and faithfulness is worth everything. Would we arrive at our old age regret free? As I see them sitting together, loving each other, praying together and still caring for others, I realize that I still need them: Their example encourages me still to live better.

Let us learn from these two the importance of the decisions we are making now. May we be guided not merely by personal interests, but by timeless principles of right and wrong. This is not optional! The stakes are too high to be haphazard. Furture generations will be made or ruined by the values we hold today and the decisions which flow from them. John and Marty have done their job well; we now have no excuse as we aim for the future.

Last Saturday night, the five of us, Mom, Dad, Nell, Nan, and myself sat together, probably for the last time in our parents' home, and soaked up the good feeling of just being together. We were able to value one another and the fantastic, grace-filled experience we had shared as family over 62 years. The next morning we went to church and worshipped the Lord Jesus together, sharing communion with eachother. What an unspeakable joy it was to stand together, the five of us, and sing "I stand in awe of You." God met with us as a family, and we were able to marvel together at a lifetime of experiencing His grace and goodness.

Now, in a very real sense, the torch has passsed from John and Marty Sr.to Tessa and myself. It is now our home that will bear the torch for this branch of the Gillespie family. With joy and earnestness we accept the noble call to carry on their legacy and values. But the flame is also passed to on to the families of the Riechers and Dischingers. I think too of the wonderful legacy of Joe and Estelle Gillespie, and the values that have flowed from them to their loved ones' homes. Young people: That generation has run well! We must continue the race. There is nothing more important for us to put our lives to.

As John and Marty move to their apartment Kansas City, I ,along with you, pray that God will grant them a rich and precious season there together. It is truly time for them to rest. It is time for us to run well the race set before us.

I ask you to join with me in saluting John and Marty Gillespie. The only fitting "thank you" that we can bring them is to carry their faith and values on in our families, with deliberate attention and joyful determination, that their legacy may live on for generations to come.

Love to you all,John D. Gillespie, Jr. (& Tessa)

John and Martha (Marty) Gillespie

Toward a Godward Life 2...

2005-02-01T21:29:00.000Z

Well I've been sitting here for most of the night ignoring the fact that a) there's stuff brewing in my heart and b) that I should post about it. At this point though it's still somewhat a mystery what God would have me say in this post, but I figured since I feel him tugging on my spirit then I'd better just sit down for 15 and bash something out.

It's been a good couple of days - classes started up again. Not only is that a shock to the system because i haven't had any classes for three weeks (well actually since before christmas), but I've started analytical subjects again after a whoel semester of management subjects. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing though, cuase analytical ones are tough as you like, but then you know if you work hard at them, you get the grades.... We'll see. The rest of the week so far has been about Starbuck and not a lot else - which is why I'm blogging and then I'm going to hopefully read for a bit before bed. It's been a fairly unproductive weekend, though good fun and I've done a lot.

And still my heart is crying out...

Check out the beautiful photo of a tree I took a few weeks ago.... Hopefully if you click on the bigger image you'll see that the foreground is in focus and the far branches are out of focus. Hmm. That's a bit what i feel like life is like right now maybe - a bit out of focus once you look out fast what's in front of your face - and it's not because i need glasses. The Divine Thwarter is doing what he does very well at directing me down the paths he'd have me go. Cause probably if I could see clearly what was in the distance, I'd either run from it or strive to attain it, and both would have me ending up in trouble. Better to rest in what's here now I guess, knowing that God knows what those out of focus bits look like. Comforting that the picture's looking up into the sky though hey - especially seeing as i LOVE to fly. It's out of focus only up there where i know i love to be.

The last week has abeena week of intense challenge, with God challenging my heart, and exposing things in me which i liked to either not see, or which i didn't want others to see. Ouch. But I've discovered terrific freedom as a result of his hand pulling back the curtains over my heart. Nice. I'm now left, as a result of that revelation, feeling very spiriturally naked before God, in a place of entire vulnerability, weakness, and trust. Again though, i know it's been a massive step toward freedom, and life in Christ - a life to the full. I know as he leads me on in this walk, He'll continue to pull back the drapes, exposing those dusty areas of my heart, but bringing life and light to that part of the room. Work it in me God....

The Godward life is intensely challenging right now. But it's really good. And I'm loving living it! This has been extremely introspective - a porthole into the edge of my thoughts. Sorry it wasn't more enlightening! Hopefully tomorrow I'll blog and some stuff for all the kids - that'll make them start sharing candy and stuff. Or maybe not. Hmmm....

Glasses and Stuff

2005-01-30T23:53:00.000Z

So what do you all think? Do they suit? I'm not sure but hey - this was the other night when we said bye to Rich before he went away to Young Women After Men.

It's been a good day. I'm tired and I have to work early tomorrow. 6am. ouch.

Need I say more? Going to bed. Night awesome people.

It's the end of the week...

2005-01-29T23:53:00.000Z

Well, it is the end of the week, and it's been a good one, though now I'm tired and ready for bed! Much ahs gone down since the last post on wednesday, and there's much i could talk about, but sometimes it's just better to leave some things unsaid. To sum up for you curious ones these have been the highlights in the real world (i.e. not information technology world).

1) Went home to cornwall and had an awesome time with Beth and Jake. Also saw Mark Davy, Chrissie, Kake, Daisy, Beth Jones, and Chris Pritchard, who I had a great lunch with out at olivers place. Good for my heart!

2) Found out my car is going to be valued etc on Monday - praying for a generous engineeri to give me more than it's truly worth....

3) Went to Kelly's leaving do and birthday party tonight and had a blast with good friends before going back to Phil and Jools Wotton's house for very good mint hot choclate and some relationship.

4) Gotten some good work done on my project/dissertation this week though i'm realizing that deadlines loom....

5) Almost finalized going to scotland in three weeks - stoked to go back to what may well be my spiritural home.

6) Tomorrow is church and good food at a family's house... being a student rocks.

In the surreal computer world here are the highlights

1) Check out the haloscan and track back that i've installed after seeing how plush it is on liam's blog among others.

2) Had my 1000th visitor tonight - next big milestone is 10K.... Roll on!

So yeah i reckon if you want to read something of real worth then check out Liam's latest post and leave some comments on that plush haloscan software... Blessings all,

Dissertation workings

2005-01-26T13:05:00.000Z

Well I'm studying away and coming up against barrier after barrier in my project... Sometimes it feels like a bit of a joke but then I realize that it's not and this is as serious as it gets.... Oh well, God knows - lift me up people.... blessings! J

Thoughts of the Day

2005-01-23T01:59:00.000Z

It’s been a bit of a long one today – from like 9:30 this morning til basically 7:00 tonight I was on my feet. Straight up. Work was good but so so so busy. Definitely no need for that kind of treatment. It was one of those days where you just wish that for once no-one lese would join the queue for five minutes while you caught your breath and had a chance to stop. But even so, it was a good day – I had a lot of fun with my workmates and with customers. Plus Paul and Charlotte came in, and it’s always nice when that happens. In my break I worked on the first few chapters of Out of the Question. Definitely interesting read and definitely a book which you need to read with your heart and your head switched on. Sweet was speaking of relationship – and how over the last couple of hundred years, but more so over the last quarter century or so, there’s been so much dragging us away from each other and away from relationship in general. Case in point what I’m doing right now. Electronic information revolution. This is communication, but not a whole lot of intimacy. It enables people to feel close to me and me to feel like I’m sharing heart with them without ever getting remotely close to them. We talk on phones, we text each other, send an email. Rarely do we sit down any more and discover each other. Now don’t get me wrong (and I know Sweet doesn’t want you to get him wrong either – see how I suddenly made this my idea? Well it is my idea of the day…) I think these technologies are fantastic tools which God has allowed us to get a hold of to do things which we could never do before. I love technology and my cell phone. But there’s a lack of intimacy. A lack of heart. Too much rationalising of things. Relationships with people. Heart. Relationship with God. We’ve turned into a people who adhere too often to principles instead of coming back to the heart of things – relationship. This was shown to be God’s heart when he did the biggest act of love and relationship ever – allowing Jesus to be crucified so that we could be with Him. Wild. It seems to Sweet (and to me) that our walks with God, as we all know, should be about faith. But what is a life of faith? It’s a life of living in His grace and pleasure, living for a daily walk in the dew of the morning with Jesus. Living for a vibrant relationship with Jesus. One not based on performance. And it doesn’t just stop at how this outlook will affect our walk with God. The outworking of a renewed attitude towards how we approach God could have a pretty big impact. Leonard goes on to mention how an example of this lack of relationship (in the extreme, yes) was the genocide of the Second World War, where the Nazi party liquidated all the so called ‘undesirable’ people groups. Six million Jews. Now that’s some lack of relationship. As if to underline the point to me of what a lack of relationship does to people, Schindler’s List was on the National Geographic Channel tonight. I hadn’t seen it for a while and I was thinking about all this stuff so I watched it again. Though I’ve heard the saying ‘only a cold man knows what it’s like to be cold’, and I realize I could never truly understand the horror of the Holocaust, my heart was bursting with grief as I watched that movie. The separation. The distance. The ability for an entire nation to look straight through the heart and humanity of another nation. It seems unfathomable and impossible, but it happened. How? How did we get like this? Where did the relationship go?

Sometimes, we as ‘believers’ wonder why the world isn’t turning to Jesus. Is that possibly because we’ve ignored the example Jesus set of how to live? Could it be that we’re supposed to follow, not believe? Maybe it’s because we’re meant to live by faith and not by a set of principles. Maybe it’s because we’re meant to put down the phone and pick up the hand of the person next to us. So, though I’m only a grand total of two, yes two chapters into this book, I’m already bashing stuff out in my head about it, and you’re getting some of the by–product of that bashing. Hope you don’t mind. I’m definitely a work in progress. Definitely under construction. Work in me God, and make my heart so that it runs with your heart. This isn’t like it’s new stuff, but it’s stuff I need to hear all the same you know? Sleep well everyone. John

Lost blogs and Updates....

2005-01-21T18:05:00.000Z

Well hey everyone - I'm just finishing what started out as a 15 minute break from my dissertation work and ended up being a 2 hour sabbatical - thought I'd blog briefly some about what's been going on here... ALTHOUGH. Last night I wrote another one of those long posts from when you know I'm in a bit of a philosophical mood, and when i wen tto publish the bad boy the internet froze and I lost it all... how gutting. After that I didn't bother to re-write it, I just went to bed! But yeah things are pretty good, I'm trucking on with Starbucks work when they give me the hours and in the meantime making forced headway into my dissertation work. If you're interested in my dissertation then maybe I'll post on it later but at this point it looks like it's going to be long and boring! Even so, it's not so boring that I don't want to do it which is quite a blessing. I know a few people who are gutted about their dissertation titles. Seems that I'm blessed!

Just finished one book and started reading a new one.... The one I just finished was The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Fantastic read, featuring an extremely well researched story cleverly woven together to make the world-wide best seller that it is. I was really impressed with this book, as I was with the other two Dan Brown novels I've read. Just as a note of caution though, you've really got to read this with a switched on spirit cause a lot of the stuff in it could really shake your faith to the core - as its such a convincing read. Reminded me why faith in God and the mystery of the cross is so hard to understand for the rest of the world, and why it is so vitally important to us as christians. If any of you my faithful readers out there are thinking of reading it but not sure whether you should buy it or not etc etc then reply by email or to the comments sectiona nd I'll do a more thorough review for you.

The one I'm jsut starting is Out of the Question... Into the Mystery by Leonard Sweet. Really excited to get into this one, as I've seen it recommended on a number of the websites/blogs that I regularly read. It seems to be all about (from other reviews and the foreword) how we as christians have lost the beauty of a relationship with God, and it's about regaining that and the impact it could have.... We'll see - hopefully within a week or two you'll have another one of my skillfully written book reviews!

Actually, just had the idea, but I think I'm going to add another section to the sidebar about good books and try to figure out some way to review them and stuff over there. Anyway. Watch this space!

Well, back to dissertation work, and then tomorrow is one busy day - hopefully going to go for a run in the morning, then work at starbucks from 10 til 6, and then I've got someone's 22nd birthday party - I think. So it'll be no dissertation tomorrow. Hopefully do some good stuff tonight. Later all... Blessings of the Father,

PS - Want to find out who my middle-earth man is? click the link....

Taken on trust

2005-01-19T01:44:00.000Z

Proverbs 3:5-6

Was talking to my good friend Amy Walker (on the right) late the other night on MSN Messenger, and she reminded me of this verse. At the time i was like yeah cool verse hey (it's one of those ones you hear so often it kindof loses impact). Little did i know that now, 24 hours later, it would mean so much, and be such a lifeline to my spirit... Just gotten off the phone to my awesome parents talking about next year and the next step in my life... Sometimes there just seem to be so many options, so many questions, and so few answers. Funnily enough, sometimes its really easy to be full of faith and trust, other times you're pretty close to despair, cause it just seems so impossibly hard to figure out. But.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight."

Wow... Like a diamond in the mud of my thoughts. In comes God speaking to my heart through the simple memory of talking to Amy last night. There's so much there for me. He says, and i'm taking my poetic licence here people, 'Forget about what you think, forget about all that junk that flys around your head, forget about worrying about things you can't even figure out anyway, and leave it to me - trust in me - have your faith in my good good heart. Just put me in the right place in your life, and I'll make the road, wherever you walk, however bumpy or uncertain it might seem, or however many bends there are keeping you from seeing into the distance, I'll make them straight'. Like Psalm 16:6, my boundary lines, if I follow God's heart, will fall in pleasant places, and he'll lead me. So, whatever path I take, I take it without fear, cause I'm following His heart with my heart, and I know that He's with me. Stoked. Thanks Amy. Night all.

Martin Luther King Day.... Supposedly

2005-01-17T21:19:00.000Z

Yeah according to Jesse Foot it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day.... I dont exactly know what that means but he sent me the "I have a Dream" speech and it blew me away. If you're looking for a martyr to justice - here's one. Download the file and see what you think. (Right click on the link 'Save Target As...')

Personality Test....

2005-01-14T18:06:00.000Z

Well i went and took the personality test as a result of Liam's Blog. Check out the result below and tell me what you think.... You are: slightly expressed extrovert very expressed intuitive personality distinctively expressed feeling personality slightly expressed judging personality Actual result - Check the links

it's late....

2005-01-13T00:08:00.000Z

It's late everyone and i'm shattered - going to bed very soon. Just thinking of how good and faithful god is - takes us places we never thought we'd be and draws us close to him... Awesome. Right now i'm listening to Rejoice with Trembling by Matt Redman on the Where Angels (...) album. I listen to a lot of Matt so i guess its not a coincidence that the album of the week thing has been one of his albums for the last - well, more than a week. But God is good isn't he? Blessing upon blessing. Cheers to WalkerGirls for the link... Night all. J

NEW INFO....

2005-01-12T13:25:00.000Z

Oh OH! WHATS THIS? Stop press, hold the phone, whatever you wnat to say here ________! Byrnesy may be getting a new camera, check out the love at this website.... Sorry to steal your thunder Liam, but not that many people read this every day anyway! Blessings.... John

Blatantly behind the times

2005-01-12T11:57:00.000Z

It just goes to show how delayed my blogging is that often when i go to blog about stuff, i see that everyone else has already blogged about it! Heavy. Like the new iPod Shuffle, which i'm deeply tempted to get - as it's the affordable alternative to an iPod (read Liam's blog on this subject here). Or the weather, which is really really windy up in Scotland and the rest of the UK - but here's we're seemingly blessed to have almost total calmness.... i'm not so sure about blessedness in that respect though cuase i love the wind (with all due respect to those whose lives have been seriously affected upcountry). But check out the calmness here... How boring.

But, as an aside and as something fresh which no-one has yet blogged about, check out this photo of the side of my car - it happened last september, but the insurance is only coming through now. And... wait for it... it looks like they're going to write it off! I could have a new car soon... you never know. Or it could be the same one. Blessings people. I'll leave you with the photo.

Exams of love and hate...

2005-01-10T17:23:00.000Z

Hey all, For all of you who know, thanks for praying for me in that exam today - semester one of my final year is over! For those of you who didn't know - i'll forgive you for not praying.... it was a bit vague and ambiguous which engineering subjects should not be but that was ok... Think i pretty much definately passed anyway... Hopefully better! Blessings everyone...

John

What can you do...

2005-01-08T11:14:00.000Z

Well the rumors have obviously been true! I've been hearing for a few weeks now that I'm on the Soul Survivor Mometum conference booking forms with two girls....

As you can see, its defintely me... And Amy and Mikaela.

Lets hope people still show up.

Sunset or sunrise?

2005-01-07T14:07:00.000Z

Well that's it, the holidays are finally officially and fully over. After flying up from conrwall for just one night here, I dropped Liam byrnes back at Terminal 1 of Heathrow airport to return to Scotland... Very crazy that not much more than three weeks ago i was picking him up with a lot of fun ahead and now it's a little different. Not bad, just different.

Beginning to realize though, that this life we're living, the "road less travelled by", is going to be one of endless goodbye. One of continually seeing off good friends - not just good friends but heart friends, because though paths cross sometimes, God leads us out into different wildernesses, different places where he wants to use us and impact our lives. Makes it tough sometimes - when pieces of your heart are torn away again as the people you love have to leave and you have to leave them.

Liam is one of my heart friends - he understands the things that stir my spirit and the same things stir him. He really is one of those few people who i can call a brother in arms. We share the same foxhole in the battlefield so to speak... I had to say goodbye today. Earlier this week i had to say goodbye to my sister Beth and my good friends Mark and Chrissy, Kate, Lucy, Pete. The week before my dear family - my Dad, Mom, and siblings, the week before that my cousins Andrew Alisha Suze and Darcy. Last month Jeff. Endless goodbyes to the heart friends - the people that matter.

But there's a sunrise. Thankfully, the endless goodbyes remind us of the final Endless Hello.... The last page, the final chapter, the closing of the book, it all only seeks to reminds us of the MORE that's coming... So the sunset tells of sunrise.

Sure, i know that i'll see all of these people again almost definately. But you know what i'm saying and i'm speaking out of a heart ache for the MORE. And I'm going to let it ache cause at least that tells me that my heart's still beating. And it drives me to my knees and then to get up and run after Jesus and his heart and what he wants to do through me.

These are totally crazy times. but they're awesome times. They're times when God is raising up relationship that spans all across the world. Where he's changing peoples hearts in an individual and corporate sense to the things he has for them. He's calling people to love him a nd love each other. So it hurts but there's a new passion, a deepness, that there maybe wouldn't be if we weren't in this together, but so often so far apart. He's driving our hearts together across the world, maybe for some greater purpose than we can even understand. I'm loving it.

So, is this all Sunset... Is this all i can say? Sometimes it is.

But thankfully - it's not...

Thanks for bearing with my those of you who've gotten to the end of this - again pretty deep stuff but kindof like what liam said in his recent post this blog is kindof the trash can of my mind

Emergent church in postmodern society

2005-01-05T21:49:00.000Z

I just finished reading an interesting blog on the definitions of "emergent" church.... For those of you who don't know what that term means, read the link. For those of you who do, read the link! Thanks to Andrew Jones....

This is all stuff i'm really beginning to work through in my head and heart with God, especially as I try to start seeing what God's laid on my heart for his church, his bride, in this age. How much of the church culture which is all around us and which we've been immersed in our whole lives (a blessing or a curse depending on where, who, and what) is influenced by and springs directly from the culture and modernistic thinking of our parents and grandparents? How much of what it means to be a follower of Jesus today is actually as God would have it? Big questions i know. Questions with big answers. Hopefully questions which i'm asking in the right way.

It looks different somehow....

2005-01-05T17:35:00.000Z

Yep, as if you haven't noticed, i changed the blog template... just cause the last one was a little but too complex for me to fiddle with the html with my fledgling computer illiterate progamming skills. So, you'll hopefully start to see me post more often and this site with hopefully get slowly more plush... Hopefully. Blessings all. J

Thoughts.... though later than usual!

2004-12-09T01:23:00.000Z

Hey all i know again it's been a very, very long time between this and my previous blog. What can i say? Sorry for not being an internet junkie - i know no excuse really. Maybe i should pay a visit to the global community more regularly but right now the computer sitting in my room is simply too reminiscent of work work wok (not chinese, a typo) and becuase of that all i want to do it either get a flat screen so my eyes dont die or not sit here and type like i am right now. Also i think all the typing i've been doing lately is affecting my finger - now i can see how secretaries and stuff end up with RSI.... Hanus.

So yeah. Nearing the end of this seemingly endless cycle of work work work for christmas is feeling more and more appealing. Liam and I are finally making our way across to the other side of the lake to the grand old state of OHIO. Check it out - finally some rest for the heart and some play for the body.... U huh, it's going to be good. I feel like there's this cup of heart that's been brimming for a while now, which is going to be good to sift through and process somewhat with Liam, my parents, and Jeff Reid who's flying in with Elijah from San Diego.... It's going to be good. So, watch this space, expect more blogs coming soon. Also, Liam's going to be changing the way ON THE ROAD looks and feels for your reading pleasure... Enjoy. Blessings people.

John

Sitting here waiting for you....

2004-12-01T14:23:00.000Z

Well i'm sitting in a classroom i'm really not supposed to be in right now, doing work that i really should have done last week. I'm waiting for the computer i'm on to analyze a complex piece of computer aided design and it's taking forever, so i thought i'd take the moment and blog something worth blogging.... it's been a long long time since i was last sitting down blogging anything... I don't quite know why. I look at Liam's blog and i see just how slack i am! Last weekend was the Thanksgiving weekend for all americans, and since my sister Beth and i are so far from home, we decided to do it here! I went back to Cornwall and Beth invited some of our close friends over to Oliver Foot's house for the weekend, people like Kate, Jeff, Daisy, Mark and Chrissy, Lara, Chris, Beth Jones, and Abi. IT was an awesome time of love and laughter, good food, warm fires, candelit discussion, and lots of Little Britain jokes. It's times like those that you really realize first off how awesome it is to have such a lot of good friends, and then you think man this is so sweet, but how much sweeter is heaven going ot be, when everyone is there, and loving each other and loving God. man it'll be like a thanksgiving forever. Sweet. anyway, it was a sic time, and we all had a blast and didn't want to leave.... that's another story altogether and this stupid program keeps failing... I'll never get it done at this rate. Oh yeah Jeff, Kate, and I were totally hardcore and did the Golddiggins cliff jump. How sic. it was cold. Very cold. So cold i had to jump around for 10 minutes before i could feel my feet again... Awesome fun though. Blessings

Give me a Story....

2004-11-24T21:08:00.000Z

I know it's been a while since i last posted, and this is still not much of a post, but i just wanted to share an awesome poem which i stumbled across on sic blog. Check out this poem it's called "Give Me a Story"....

Give Me A Story you want a statement to sum up the mission of God

go aheadfind your statement

make one up to help you feel secure inside your safety cage of words

belted in by cords of cliches

locked up by logos lifted from sunday school memories but give me a story

give my friends a story so that they are not sentenced to meaningless lives dont give me a story that I can easily believe in

give me a script that I struggle to understand

that stretches my faith,

that demands life insurance

give me a story that will rip me from my career and pummel me into a quest beyond my capabilities

i need something worth dying for

i have most of my life left to give

but I need a story worthy of my investment give me a story that I can touch and smell

a story with real people

a story with a face.

a story with my face

my role

my place

my script

because I am preselected to be a player in this story

that rolls its plot out in front of me

likearunawaycarpetunravellingfasterthanicanrun

in more directions than I can predict

in more colors than I can comprehend

a story that woos out my potential and calls me out of myself to be who I really am give me A story

give me THE story

give me MY story tell me that God is bigger than you

BIGGER than your statements of ink

BIGGER than your powerpoint animationsthan your projections of numbers

that make you impressed

but that make God stoop give me a story that makes me gloriously a l i v e

to the purpose of God

makes me run without breath

to keep up with His spirit

and at the same time inviting me to dance slowly

erotically with God in an endless

n t

of warm passion

nesting me in peace and safety tell me the story in new words

so that I dont trip over lame phrases of impotence

so that my mind does not vanillarize over trivial expressions

used mindlessly by millions who use words to steal mystery from a transcendent God

who speaks freshly

with new mercies every morning

!surprises!

that awaken me from sleep mode

that spark in me new thoughts

dreams of impossible feats

daring adventures

miracles of the Almighty

performed by the hands and prayers of backstreet backstage people in goodwill rags you want a statement? go ahead

i dare ya

double-dare ya

to box up The Omnipotent

to catch the Spirit of God

to nail the Son on a cross-word puzzle go ahead and try

but I wont hold my breath

and you wont hold the mission of God on a bumper sticker

Andrew Jones

Colorado Springs

December 2001

Toward a Godward Life...

2004-11-19T01:25:00.000Z

Notice the three dots at the end of the title? Normally it's four but today it's three, cause that's kindof saying that it's unfinished business... things still happening! Yeah I'm just on the phone with Liam Byrnes and all I can say is yeah, what a true blessing and an honor to have a man, a warrior, a fellow runner in the race, to stand beside and be in the moment with. Awesome. Thanks God for friends of the heart. Thanks for being there Liam. I've been feeling the heat lately, the heat of life being real busy, the heat of life being tough, the heat of wanting to know my father more, but not quite knowing how to get there. The heat of feeling like my heart wants to be somewhere else, the heat of not having anyone else here that my heart can connect with. Heat. It's late and i'm up early tomorrow, but i just want to say that yeah, God's faithful, and true, and he knows me and my situations beyond what i do and what i see. So i will praise him, and worship him, and follow him, and run after him, and fight to be with him and know his heart to my dying breath. No-one said this was easy. A little stupid of me to think that it might have been easy. Not easy, but good. I will follow. This is only the beginning of the journey toward a godward life... a challenge but on which i gladly pick up. The glorious mystery. Christ in us, the hope of glory... I'm hoping for that glory. Check out the God we serve and what he is, and what he's done for us in Collossians 1. Jesus, to know you... Night all

Living the life....

2004-11-15T19:07:00.000Z

Before i start, i've got to give credit where it's due. Check out Liam's post "Living for JESUS". I just got in from work, read the post, and something went off in my heart, and i needed to make more of a response than just typing a comment in the box.

I know i can sound like a broken record sometimes, because God places something on my heart, and that's the thing i live out of for a period of time, but what else can i say? It's on my heart! So.

Liam's post speaks of living for Jesus not 'like' it really matters, but because it really matters! He writes about spending time with God, and letting the Maker speak to his heart of beauty, adventure, and intimacy, and being reminded that it's not just on the mountaintop that God speaks to him about that, but it's right there, in his flat in halls. And right here, in my flat at uni. God is still that same, awesome, powerful god that the beauty that you see all around you on that mountaintop speaks to your heart of. Wow. If i only could truly realize to who it was that i was speaking, and who's life i was following, then my life would be revolutionionized. This is going to tangent all over the place right now, but i'm just writing my thoughts. Hold on for the ride!

So, I'm going to live the life, and follow Jesus with all my heart, because it does matter, and it's the only thing that truly does.... I'm going to spend time with Him, my father, my lover, my teacher, my maker, and let him speak to my heart, because those are the only words that can possibly give me the life in need on the journey through this earth. What is life on this earth if you can't live it and enjoy the living and give the glory of that joy and beauty back to him? Life is tough, in fact sometimes life's a bitch, but God is good, and he's placed me here for a reason, and that's to give the glory back to him. So i'm going to turn every blessing back to praise, and i'm going to worship him through the joy and the pain. I'm going to see the beauty in creation, in joy, in sorrow, and live it and breathe it back to Jesus as praise.

See my hat? That hat has been through a lot with me. It's looking a lot worse for wear than when i got it from my big sis Beth a couple of years ago. It's seen the tough times and the good, and it's worn and faded and dirty. But it's been there. And it's lived it, and it's seen a lot of stuff. So, in a way, it looks better (lovin the destroyed style still). So the worn out cap speaks of experiencing life. When i die i want to be something like that cap.... Used and worn out, but with a face that speaks of having lived through life with my maker, and not avoided any of the joy or pain that comes with it, but having turned it all back to the praise of the Father, the ONE beyond and outside history. Destroyed, but gloriously beautiful. Wow i'm finding beauty in a worn out American Eagle cap. Sic. Maybe i'm crazy. Maybe i'm not.

Thanks for joining me on my ramblings.... Blessings people.

Would you like an extra shot in that?

2004-11-15T18:43:00.000Z

Cheesy cheesy grins all round.... It's american John serving your mocha frappuccino. Just got back from work at Starbucks and today for once it's been a nice calm afternoon, whereas normally it's manic and crazy! It's v. cool God's blessed me with a job that i enjoy where i can go and de-stress, and have fun talking to people, doing something that i enjoy (pulling shots of coffee).

Just as a quick Starbucks plug, did you know that their Faritrade coffee farmers are all paid $1.26 per pound of coffe and that ALL their farmers are paid at least $1.20 per pound. That's pretty good for an international capitalist dog-eat-dog corporation. makes me feel better about working there at least. GO TO STARBUCKS PEOPLE AND EXPERIENCE THE EXPERIENCE. blessings

Moving two places up the Christian ladder..... Byrnesy himself!

2004-11-10T11:40:00.000Z

Well i recieved the Soul Survivor Live 2004 albvum in the mail today and what can i say? Liam's assault of the A-list christian celebrity hill has certainly taken a huge leap forward as he solidifies his position as a B-lister with his recent appearance on the SITC/Whole World in His Hands music video extravaganza. Feast your beady eyes on liam's chiseled abs and stunning features under the bright lights by procuring the album here for the bargain price of £10.99!

Seriously, it's a good album though i was hoping for some serious double disc action, and it does embody some of the great things that happened in the hearts of Londoners and the hearts of thousands of youth this summer.... But there's more to come as we decide to not just live that way for two weeks in the summer, but be the legends and live the life all of the time! Blessings all.

Sometimes... on finding the secret place

2004-11-09T16:01:00.000Z

Sometimes you're heart is on fire, and it's all you can do to stop yourself from running down the street screaming to jesus about the wonders you have seen in him. Every mountain becomes a molehill, and faith flows through you like the blood in you arteries. Other times, it's more like he's holding you by the hand as you're starting to flag and stumble and fall, and it feels amost as though he's dragging you, refusing to let you drift off. Lately I'd been feeling that way, not that I didn't want to be close to God, but more that as much as a desired the closeness, i couldn't quite attain it, and because of that i was living my life a little bit listlessly, almost waiting for the next event to happen, to knowck me again in the face. It felt as though my life was running around me, and i wasn't able to quite hold it, as much as i tried to keep it all reined in.

Sometimes you know when God speaks to you, sometimes he speaks clearly, other times in riddles and dreams and visions. Last week God spoke to me clearly. I felt like all the questions i was asking of him, about my life, were'nt getting any answers. I knew he was seeking my heart, seeking time with me, but my days seemed to be an endless list of to-do's with 20 minutes of time for God if he was lucky.

One of my good friends reminded me of the secret place. The secret place is the place where you are reduced to just being you - not the you everyone else knows, not the you that has so much stuff to do, not the you that is always thinking and planning things and the you that everything seems to be on top of. Not the you who is stuck up or proud or resentful. Just the you that lives and breathes and has it's being. And the secret place is the place where God can speak in that still small voice, and oyu'll be able to hear. I'm convined that God speaks often, even all the time, but i'm just so often too busy to hear him, even if i'm trying, because there's always too many other thoughts, things to do, people to see.

So, i was like God, where can i go to reduce me to a place where all i can do is hear from you. He asked me where my heart could breathe. I tried to think, and there didn't seem to be a place around here where my heart felt free... kindof like it does when you step off the top of a big cliff that you've never jumped before. That's heart freedom for me. So i remembered a place about an hour from here where my heart could breathe. It's a huge hill with a monument on the top, and you can see for miles and miles all around. Then i felt god re-assuring me that if i went there, it would be a place where i could meet with him.

So i drove. And I walked. And I talked with him, my Father, my Savior, my Master, the love of my heart. It was fantastic. Now my heart is breathing again, now my feet have a lightness in their step again, my soul sings to him again.

Why can my heart sing again? Because i went to a place? Because God resided in that place more than he did here? No. It's because i made it my purpose and my mission to spend time with him, to seek him, to know him, even though I didn't have the time or the money or the energy to drive that far and pay for the petrol and give up most of a day. I made him my one desire, i made him the only thing i wanted, and he brought me to a place where it was only him, and only me, but we were together, and i could hear him once again.

So, go find the secret place, find that remote part of your heart again. That place that although it feels dangerous emotionally, and maybe even a stupid place to be physically, is the place where your heart can commune with his.

In Revelation 3:20 it says that if we open the door to Jesus, he will come in and eat with us. The suggestion is that he is longing to be with us, to be in our hearts with us. He is knocking! But we still have to open the door to him, and though i know it's something i've done many times, i know how closed my heart can get again through the daily grind. So i know i'm going to have to seek him again and again, open the door, nail it open, tie it back, call him into my house with all of my heart. Then we'll eat together.

In Matthew 11:12, Jesus says "the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force". Difficult to understand i know, but for me the point here is that if we are to attain the kindom of heaven, that place where we have communion with God himself, we have to get there, fight for it, forcefully advance. It speaks of battle, of armor, of adversaries. It speaks of overcoming. It speaks of a welcome home once we have.

This has been proper long, and proper piecey, but i hope that you the reader will have been hit somehwere with the need for us to be desperate for Jesus, desperate for his prescence, even if it means an hours drive and a long walk on a wintery day in Wiltshire. Blessings Guys. May you know HIM!!!

Entering the digital age....

2004-11-09T14:55:00.000Z

I signed up to iTunes UK this past week, and it is the sickest thing ever... Download virtually any song you want (although the UK site doesn't have as many as the US site yet) with only one click and it takes 79p from your bank account... Now is the time to be a man of self control!

Blogging bother

2004-11-08T21:04:00.000Z

This blogger website keeps deleting the HTML for my site, which is why i haven't bothered to fix it for a week, and why i've lost my title etc. How annoying hey.... Hopefully i'll get to post on it again soon enough though, but right now i'm goi gto do some of my many stacks of coursework... Hanus. Blessings all. J

Bo - with those chiselled abs....

2004-11-08T20:54:00.000Z

Yes, i know what you're thinking, and i'm thinking it too! Who is that guy who is SO HOT RIGHT NOW? It's Josiah aka BO gillespie, and yes, i know he's fine.

Rumor has it he's started his own blog.... check it out here....

What a joke!

2004-11-04T17:16:00.000Z

Howdy everyone - all my faithful readers.... I just found out that my car is going to cost me £330 tomorrow... not so nice hey! it's ok though, because He is good, He is faithful, He is kind.... and He knows! So, live with me in faith aboutthis guys - i completely cannot afford this but what the heck! God knows more about my finances than I do, and i'm learning to be a uni student! Blessings all of you....

Dubya wins again!

2004-11-04T10:49:00.000Z

Sorry to all of you who were hoping for a big change in things - i couldn't decide until the last minute but in the end i was found rooting for Bush alongside the rest of my Republican family! It's quite comforting this time that there was no more scandal than a fiercely contested state, and the popular vote was in his favor too... For those of you who have no idea about the US voting system go here and get very confused. For those of you who want to laugh at bush go here and type in 'misearble failure' or 'weapons of mass destruction' and click on the first link....

George Dubya

For the rest of you though, i think its good to know that we've got a President who's not in the slightest perfect, but one who is sincere, born again, and who has strong moral conviciton. Praise God for the things he will do - i don't know all of what they are and i'm a little bit worried baout what Bush is planning for the next four, but I know that God knows what's going to happen, and he holds the WHOLE world in his hands! Blessings guys, love to know your comments on my comments!

Windsor has left the building!

2004-11-04T01:05:00.000Z

The man himself, Mike Windsor, has left the building! My good friend and flatmate had to move out this week, leaving me his room and a hefty monthly rent bill. Mike I miss you man.... No, in all seriousness, it feels really wierd to not have mike around, and it still feels like i'm staying in his room, not that i've moved in!

Windsor

What is great though, is knowing that though you can leave people behind, and people can leave you behind on the journey, but it's up to you to let them walk out of your life or not. So, Michael, even though you don't live here, I'll always be your mate, and you can't walk out of my life. Blessings.

2004-10-29T19:19:00.000+01:00

Thought you guys would love to see what i was up to out of the country! On the same weekend that Liam had all of his 'good friends' come up to see him in Orkney, some of us (ahem!) rejected him and flew out to Sweden! Ok yeah here it is, i went to see my girlfriend in Sweden instead of my best mate in Scotland.... i know. I feel bad.... Not really! Umm so yeah, i spent the weekend with Johanna in Uppsala, which is about an hour outside Stockholm. I was there for four days, but it was an awesome time, and it felt like it was only about two days! Gutting to leave but right all the same! This Johanna in a boat on the lake just out side their flat (i know, how sic?).... Beautiful moments....

Sweden in Autumn

2004-10-29T19:13:00.000+01:00

That Huge gap in time since the last post can all be explained - really! Pretty much since the last post, i've been out of the country, and then when i got back, for a few days i've been so busy that i didn't have time to post, or when i did, i couldn't be bothered! So, here i am and i want all you my desperate readers to know that i did think of you often while rejecting the online generation in my procrastination!

So, i thought i'd share with you all this photo, which is me and the good man Jutester on the way to Stanstead airport at about 4am last Friday morning. Being the man and a true friend and mate, Jute told me he'd take me to the airport (2 hours away) even thouhg i had to be there at 5:30am, thus the major tired expressions!

Across the loch!

2004-10-20T22:50:00.000+01:00

Yes, the rumor is true! Byrnesy and me are flying all the way to the states in a plane i built! ok well that second part isn't true, but it is going to be in a BIG plane.... Stoked. It's going to be a Christmas to remember with the Gillespie clan in Ohio.... Check out the photos of Liam "the don" and me in scotland just last month.... The Byrnesmeister

That Wednesday Feeling....

2004-10-20T08:38:00.000+01:00

Yeah I know what you're thinking... Why on earth a picture of Trafalgar Square? Sure, I know the summer's over now. Instead of free time off its endless hours of classes and work, and instead of sunny skies right now we're supposedly at the start of the coldest winter in history (or something like that though it doesn't seem to be that cold at all)!

The picture is one of me and my best mate Liam standing on one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square on August the 7th... it was about 5:30 in the evening and we had just finished two weeks of SoulintheCity, a time of blessing and learning, joy and pain, laughs and tears, and the sickest two weeks of our lives. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, we were tired but stoked to be there and stoked to have been used by God so greatly over the previous two weeks.

On the fountain in Trafalgar Square

What's the point in all this? Well other than the sneaky old man in the foreground (i know, i have no idea either), this illustrates something my heart has been thinking about over the last few days. Sure, it's not always sunny now, and sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in the valley instead of the mountaintop, stuck in an endless cycle of work and work and more work instead of getting to do things that make my heart excited, but this is exactly where God's called me to be. He called me to be there for a time, and now he's calling me to live for him through this valley, and to battle and fight my way on through whatever and wherever he's called me to be. I could look at that photo and think 'man i wish i was there - or i can't wait til the next time i'm getting to be somewhere or do something like that', but do i really want to be anywhere else but here? Do i really want to be wishing my life away and living for the weekend or holiday or the summer? You know what? I'd rather be right here, and giving it my best shot in the valley. It's something I've resolved to do, somewhere I want to resolve to be, to give it my best shot here, not just waiting around for the summer to come again, or the weekend, or the evening.

So, today, in some of the classes which i find boring boring because they're all about management and theories, i'm not going to be watching the clock, I'm going to live every moment for God, not for man, and give it my best shot.... Pretty deep for half past 8 in the morning I know!

Sorry just check out that dude's face one more time.... Very wierd!

Number One!

2004-10-19T12:30:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the first ever posting of On the Road, The journeyings of john gillespie! I've got to give credit where its due and say that the whole idea for this came from www.liambyrnes.co.uk, and I've totally ripped off his idea but I'm sure he's stoked anyway! I've got a class in a few minutes so this has got to be quick, but what I want this site to be is just a place for me to show some of what I've been up to, and share some of my heart with people who I can't always call and talk to for hours.... basically it's an upmarket group email! So anyway, welcome! If this is your first time, enjoy the blog, maybe even start one of your own! Blessings Johnny Gillespie